Confession Friday

I confess that 1 month from today I have to go back to work.  I have very mixed emotions about this.  I am looking forward to adult conversation during the day.  I am sad and anxious about leaving Addis all day.  I also found out yesterday that I'm going to be working on a different team because they are short staffed.  I worked in this department 4 years ago and worked very hard to move up into my position.  I feel a little like I've been demoted.  This is supposed to be temporary but that doesn't mean short lived by any means.  It looks as if I'm going to be there until at least the summer.  I worried about being bored.  I'm hoping though that this will lead to some bigger opportunities as there are many changes that will be occurring in this department.

I confess that yesterday was officially 7 months together.  I can't believe where the time is going. 

I confess that Addis has not been interested in sweets until we started opening up the advent calendar doors.  He now loves chocolate.  I love watching his face when he gets his chocolate in the morning.  His smile is so big.

I confess I went to my work holiday lunch today.  It's a dressier event and I put on a pair of heels for the first time in about 8 months.  I had a hard time walking in them.  I felt ridiculous.  It was like I forgot how to walk in heels and I looked a little like a little girl playing dress up in her mother's high heels.  I think I might have to start wearing them around the house and practice a little before I go back to work so I don;t make a fool out of myself.

I confess that tonight we will start wrapping Christmas presents. 

I confess that I had finished my Christmas shopping (with the exception of Brian) and then I saw a few more things Addis would like so I bought them.  I may have gone a little overboard this year.  I am just so excited for Christmas morning.

I confess that I finally took the time to post some pictures of Addis on Facebook.  I've been meaning to for a while and just haven't gotten around to it.  There's some really cute ones so take a few minutes and take a peek.

Confession Friday

I confess that last weekend was AMAZING!!!  Our room had a gigantic hot tub.  I was able to soak in the tub for hours while watching a movie.  Luxury.  I even spent about 10 minutes with my feet on the jets and afterwards they were humming in pleasure.  We each had a margarita at Margaritaville and shared some wings.  My drink was called License to Chill and it was deeee-lish.  It came in a glass that was huge.  Good thing we were just across the street from our hotel by this time and no longer needed to drive.  We had stopped earlier at the outlet stores and I bought 2 pairs of Nine West shoes for less then the price of 1 pair at home.  I need new shoes to go back to work since the heels I was wearing have cracked soles.  We also went in the Coach store and Brian bought me a lovely bag for our anniversary and Brian picked up my xmas gift from Addis there as well.  We ate dinner at East Side Marios.  On Sunday we crossed the border and went to the Buffalo Bills/Tennesee Titans football game.  We had a great time.  Our seats were sooo close.  We were 20 rows off the field.  Brian and I have never sat that close to the field.  The game was good and the people watching was a lot of fun too.  We saw a lot of people get thrown out of the stadium by the yellow jackets.  We lucked out with the weather.  We came prepared for cold weather but it ended up being warm enough that we were comfortable in our jackets and even had to take off our hats and mitts.

I confess that we only have one holiday party to attend this year.  I'm really looking forward to it.  We are getting together with two other adoptive families.  I can't wait to see the new photos one of the families has of their son and I'm excited to meet the other family"s little girl.  I'm so very grateful to have these friends.

I confess that we finished our family holiday card this week.  It was a more difficult project than I expected but I'm very pleased with the finished product.  Some have been sent out in the mail, I'm still collecting some addresses and some will be hand delivered.

I confess that we did our second post placement report this week.  It was nice to be able to get that out of the way before the holidays.  We were able to show off our new house to our practioner.  More importantly we were able to brag about all of Addis's accomplishments.

I confess that I only have 1 Christmas gift left to buy.  I'm behind on my Christmas shopping this year.  I'm one of those sick people who likes to have everything bought, wrapped and under the tree by December 1st.

I confess that today's paper had a schedule of all the holiday specials on tv and I immediately ripped it out and sat down with a highlighter and have marked all the ones we want to watch.  It's now sitting on the side table in our family room so we don't miss any of them.  I can't wait to see some of my favourites.  The Grinch, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation, Charlie Brown Christmas, Frosty.  It was however missing my very favourite holiday special.  The Disney Christmas Parade.  It's always on the morning of December 25th.  I always tape it and watch it later that afternoon once the turkey is in the oven.

I confess that I bought myself a little present this week.  I picked up a copy of the movie The Help.  I loved the book and can hardly wait to see the movie.

I confess that I was sick again this week.  Is my immune system ever going to be strong again?  I swear Addis is a little germ factory.  Luckily he's only a carrier and of the 7 times I've been sick since May, he's only been sick 2 times.  I'm definitely over being sick all the time.  I'm not joking, it's a once a month thing.  Enough already!!!

Confession Friday

I confess that today has been a frustrating day.  It was almost as though the photography Gods were against us and then with us, then against us, etc.  They were a flighty bunch today.  We got the call to come pick up the professional photos we did of Addis a week early (bonus! after they told us after taking the darn things that it would take almost 3 weeks) only to have the studio closed for an afternoon break.  The photographer failed to mention this when I told her we'd come by later in the afternoon to pick them up.  We left to take Addis to see Santa and while we got a great shot, the picture would not attach to the email the Santa Experience sends.  They send all photos by email and then you print them as needed.  There is not cost just a donation to the Child Witness Centre. (great idea in my opinion). Anyway, we had to go back to the mall and investigate because there was no phone number on our receipt or the website and all we had was a blank page with a little memo saying "thanks for using the Santa Experience".  We not only got a re-take, but were able to salvage the first picture.  However, Addis was tired and not interested in sitting alone with Santa the second time around.  He caused a scene.  We ended up having to sit in the picture too.  I guess this is a good thing because we got a nice(ish) family photo with Santa.  However, the people in line were not Sandau family fans as they thought we were line jumpers.  The elves felt so bad about our photo not attaching and having to make a return trip that they ushered us to the front of the line and made everyone else wait. 

I confess that I got bad news about a friend tonight and my heart hurts.  Get well soon friend.  I miss you very much.

I confess that this is the weekend Brian and I are getting away.  YIPPEE!!!  Not sure what I'm most exicted about.  The hot tub, the ability to sleep in (no dogs whining for breakfast at 6am or baby crying because he hears the dogs), the football game or the Nine West outlet just down the road from our hotel.  Oh, the endless possibilities!!!!

I confess that I went to the mall for one item and came across a Yankee Candle store.  WHAT???  When did that come to Canada?  I was very excited and then had an "Oh NO" moment after I spent money I probably shouldn't have.  Oh well, my house will smell wonderful at Christmas.

I confess that I tried making our Christmas card on the Costco website this evening and had no luck.  It was going well earlier today but when I went back in to edit, it turned into a gong show.  Sometimes I think I have no business around a computer.  I think I will go into the store armed with my USB loaded with pics and if I run into trouble, hopefully somewhere there can help me.  Even if that someone is just a passing customer.

Confession Friday

I confess that I am sitting all alone right now enjoying blissful peace and quiet after getting a chance to sleep in.  It must be my lucky day.  Addis was up REALLY early (out of character) and Brian got up with him to let me sleep in.  When I finally woke up at 9:30am, they were both heading back upstairs to go back to bed.  So now I'm sitting enjoying a cup of tea and getting an early jumpstart to my blog.

I confess that I am still working on the referral story post.  Stayed tuned.  It's a good story. 

I confess that this week (Nov 23) was our 9th anniversary.  We are planning an overnight trip to Niagara Falls and a football game in the near future so we kept our actually anniversary low key.  This is the first year we had to decide to either get a babysitter to go out or keep our plans kid friendly.  Isn't it wonderful?!  We decided on the kid friendly version.  I took the dogs for a walk while Brian and Addis went to get dinner.  We sat in our family room and ate Subway while watching the movie Rio.  I think this was one of the best anniversaries we've had in a long time.  Who knew sandwiches and cartoons would be better then steak dinner and martinis?

I confess that I'm really making more time for self care these days.  When Addis first came home I was lucky to get in a shower and brush my teeth.  If I put on clean clothes they certainly didn't stay that way for long.  Well, six months later I shower daily again, I get out of the house in clean clothes and they stay that way 99% of the time, I put on make-up, I find some time now and again to workout and I've even been taking time to use my favourite scented body lotion.  I am feeling like myself again.

I confess that there is a piece of super rich chocolate cake in my fridge that is calling my name.  Yes, even though it's only 10am, it's calling my name.  I would eat it for breakfast and I'm aware that this is totally disgusting to eat rich desserts this early in the morning but I'm a sucker for chocolate cake.  However, I won't be eating it just yet.  Even though it's call is getting louder and louder, I am going to resist temptation until Addis gets up so I can share it with him.  Ok, those of you that know me really well can pick your jaws up off the floor.  Yes, Ange is going to share food.  What can I say, it's love?  I love Addis chocolate cake big.

I confess that my friend who has been sick is getting better and nothing could make me happier.  Prayers really are answered.  Welcome back honey!  You were missed more then I can say.  Can't wait to finally see you.

I confess that I really enjoyed deocrating for Christmas this year.  The past few years we have decorated but our hearts weren"t really into it.  This year neither of us channeled Scrooge while putting up the tree.  We laughed, we smiled, we made some wonderful memories.  We even put on a Christmas Jazz station and listened to xmas music.  Again, people that know me well can pick up their jaws off the floor. I listened to Christmas music.  I even, dare I say it, enjoyed it. 

I confess that normally I do not enjoy Christmas music.  I don't mind hearing it Christmas day but this nonsense about playing it the day after Halloween is lost on me.  Also, my tastes for xmas music usually run to the inappropriate.

I confess that we took Addis to get photos done.  He wasn't overly cooperative.  He's too busy to sit and have some strange person take his photo.  We got a really nice shot but I'm not sure I'll do that again until he's a little older.  I have a friend who's a photographer and I think we'll just get her to do family shots from  now on so that we can work around Addis and his personality.  I'd rather have shots of him playing and having fun and full of life than a posed picture anyway.  Don't get me wrong, the picture we have is lovely and I'd be happy to send anyone who wants one their own copy when we receive it, but trying to get a little boy to sit still can be like trying to catch lightning.

I confess that tonight we are going to rent a movie and I am going to indulge in some popcorn with loads of butter.

Confession Friday

I confess there was no Confession Friday last week because we went to the in-laws to celebrate Christmas with them before they went South for the winter.  We couldn't get wi-fi access until later in the weekend.

I confess Addis and I had another cold last week.  That makes 6 times in 6 months for me.  I expected to be sick a lot once Addis was in daycare but what on earth is going on now?  Where are we picking up all these germs?  With any luck maybe we'll have built up a nice immune system by the time he goes to daycare and won't have to worry about being sick all the time when I go back to work.

I confess that Addis seems to be entering a phase that I knew would come, but can do without.  He's testing his boundries and limits.  He does things I've told him 1000 times not to do.  Not only is he doing them, but he looks at me first to see if I'm watching and then he grins at me.  He's clearly challenging me.

I confess that tonight we had our first opportunity to follow through on a threat that was made.  I don't want to be one of those parents making empty threats like "If you don't stop doing (insert behaviour here), I'll turn this car around" or "we'll go home", etc.  So when Addis starting acting up in the restaurant at dinner we were presented with the opportunity to put up or shut up.  Addis threw a piece of his snack on the floor and I sternly reminded him that we don't throw food and told him that if he didn't change his behaviour, we'd leave.  So when he threw his sippy cup at the man sitting at the table next to us, we had no choice but to follow through.  Brian took Addis outside to talk to him.  They came back in but only to ask our waitress to box up the food as soon as it was ready and pay our bill.  While Brian was doing that, I put on Addy's coat and brought him out to the car where we sat waiting for Brian.  I'm not sure how much actually registered with Addis since he is so young, but I think it's important to start establshing rules and patterns early.

I confess I have actually started working out again.  It's just been a few days but it's a start and certainly more then I've done in the past 7 months.  I'm sore all over, but it feels good to be doing something again. 

I confess that Brian and I have booked two days/one night away.  For our anniversary we are going to Niagara Falls for a day and staying the night and the next day we are going to a football game.  I'm so excited.  I can hardly wait to go!!!

I confess that I had a massage today and it was delightful to endulge in a little "me time".

I confess that I bought Brian, Addis and I matching personalized stockings from the Disney Store.  I can hardly wait for them to be delivered.  I also bought a matching advent calendar.

I confess I am excited about Christmas and hope to start decorating for the season this weekend

Confession Friday

I confess this has been a very busy week.  Between celebrating our referralversary, Halloween, getting ready for our housewarming party and our regular everyday life, I feel tired.

I confess I am looking forward to our housewarming party with is tomorrow. 

I confess I love to entertain.  Planning and hosting a party is a lot of fun for me.

I confess that I have been cleaning all day today and still have stuff to do tomorrow.  It's not that the house is actually that dirty but I just can't be satisfied with good enough.  I want to showcase our home in the best way possible.  We still had boxes to unpack and we hadn't put up any personal items like artwork or family photos.

I confess that today Brian and I took Addis to a playgroup at a local indoor soccer field.  They set up all kinds of play equipment and set out balls and the kids have the run of three inddor fields for 2 hours.  Addis really enjoyed being able to run.

I confess that today was our first unpleasant encounter with nosy questions about our family dynamic.  There were probably 100 children there but Addis was the only child with brown skin.  Normally we live in a very multicultural city so I was surprised by this ratio of 1:99.  I am quite comfortable with our family and don't usually mind questions if they are of a curious nature.  I do, however mind someone asking me within two minutes of meeting me what specificaly caused our fertility problems, how much he cost, why didn't his real mother want him, etc.  Seriously, what is wrong with people that they think this is appropriate topics for a childrens playgroup or for someone you just met. 

I confess that I while I think I handled the situation ok, I still think I could have handled the situation differently and better.  I mostly just deflected the questions and when this woman was persistant I just walked away.  I will have to work on just plainly telling people these types of questions are not appropriate and this info is not their business as politely as the situation calls for.

I confess that I had a nice afternoon at the salon today.  I got my hair cut and coloured and then straightened.  It was nice to have a few hours to myself.  Don't even get me started on the massage chairs at the shampoo sinks.  Massage chair and scalp massage.......Heaven!!!
 
I confess we had a great time trick or treating.  Addis really enjoyed seeing all the other kids and peoplle.  My niece and nephew came to our neighbourhood and the 3 kids went out together.  Addis and my nephew had matching dragon costumes.  This was not planned, just a fluke that turned out to be a super cute photo op.  My niece was a butterfly.  Addis got quite the haul of candy.  We had to keep emptying his Thomas the Tank Engine bucket into a Sobey's shopping bag.  After sorting through it for what was safe to keep, I sorted through again for what was safe for him to eat.  In the end he had very little left and Brian and I ended up spliting the rest.  I felt kind of bad because I literally stole candy from a baby.

I confess that I got the trick this Halloween.  Our neighbours build a haunted house on their driveway and into their garage.  They also buld a graveyard on the front lawn.  It was done really well and looked like good spooky fun.  When we walked through all the scary stuff was mechanical or rubber.  Then we came across the corner where there was a live person who jumped out to scare you.  I don't like having things jumping out at me.  My nerves are terrible.  I shrieked so loud that the people at the end of the driveway heard me and I could hear them all laughing.  I saw the creepy man run ahead and then back around to get back into place to scare the next person.  Only he crept up behind me and scared me again. Another shriek.  When I come out there is a crowd and they are all laughing at me.  Ha, ha.  Ok so you spooked the scaredy cat.  I walked to the end of the driveway and was talking to my brother's girlfriend and I then I turn around and BOO.  You guessed it, this guy jumps out at me again.  So at this point, my nerves are totally shot.  I moveto the house next door.  I stand there waiting for the rest of the group to join me and BOO.  This guy is having so much fun at my expense that he jumped through the graveyard between the houses and spooks me again.  Are you kidding me??  So at this point my brother is killing himself laughing.  If I wasn't so scared I might have been concerned my brother was going to wet his pants from laughing so hard at me.  Time to get out of there.  We move on down the street and finish up our trick or treating and return home.  I put Addis to bed and after a while shut off the lights as the amount of kids had trickled out.  Then the doorbell rings.  I pick up the bowl of candy and open the door and OMG, there is the creepiest clown I have ever seen.  FOr those tht don't already know, I am terrified of clowns.  I back away from the door and blindly hand off the bowl of candy to whoever came up behind me and run for my life into another room.  Brian and my dad start calling me back and said the clown is gone and I needed to come back to the door to see the other kids. After being scared so many times, I feeling a little leery.  Then my mom chimes in.  "Come on back, the clown is gone".  This is my mom.  The woman who would never steer me wrong.  I come back to the door at which point either my dad or Brian grabs me and shoves me into the doorway and BOO.  That creepy guy again.  I screamed so loud I'm surprised I didn't wake up Addis.  My brother had walked back down to the neighbours and aksed him to come to our place a little later.  I was so on edge that I had to close all the curtains because I was so scared someone would jump out at me again.  I didn't really sleep very good that night.  I'm told I'll laugh about it later.  I say, watch out.  Payback is coming!

Confession Friday

I confess that last week I caught myself scolding Addis for goofing off at the table and I felt like a huge hyprocrite. I have very particular ideas about table manners. Perhaps I'm a bit too rigid and expect too much from a baby. However, the rules are as follows: you stay at the table until everyone is done eating, no phone calls during dinner, chew with your mouth closed, no feeding the dogs from the table, no throwing food, dinner time is not play time. Addis was a little full of the silly bug that day and he was acting accordingly. He was happily entertaining my parents and sister. I caught myself telling him to knock it off and then realized I had broken the rules myself. I had spent most of dinner texting with someone. In my defence, there was an extenuating circumstance that led to the text conversation, however, it was still against the rules. I think mommy might have to spend time in the corner or on the naughty step.  I can't very well enforce the rules if I don't follow them myself.

I confess that I went shopping.  I bought my first pair of skinny jeans.  Not sure I have any business wearing them but... I'm going to give it a try.  I made my friend check out my butt to make sure it looked good and not like and animal fighting to get out of a burlap sack.

I confess that I also bought 2 pairs of really great boots.

I confess that I went in to work today for a quick visit and it felt good to have everyone seem so happy to see me.  I have worried over the past few months that life has just marched on without me.

I confess that I am really excited about Halloween.  Addis will be dressed up like a dragon.  Funny enought, his cousin has the same exact costume.  I'm looking forward to getting photos of Addis and my neice and nephew together.

I confess since Addis is so little and can't eat candy, Brian and I will be raiding his stash. 

I confess we had a good day at the pumpkin patch last Sunday.  We have some great family photos and some great photos of Addis.  I hope we have started a new faily tradition.

I confess that I am feeling very sentimental on the eve of our referral anniversary.  I'm not sure what we are going to do to commemerate the occasion but I did buy a bottle of the same champagne that our friends bought for us last year to celebrate.  We will toast to the beautiful little boy who has filled our hearts. 

I confess that I was surprised yesterday with photos that were taken that day.  I was laughing and crying tears of pure joy.  Beside me was one of my good friends who supported me through so many dark times.  She was also laughing and crying.  Around us were about twenty of our co-workers.  Tomorrow I will take some time to write about our referral.

I confess that tonight I will indulge in a little "after Addis has gone to bed" treat.  I have a bag of double hit caramel popcorn from kernels that I can't wait to dig into.  YUM!!!! 

I confess that I have been worried that Addis doesn't seem to talk very much.  He babbles ALL the time.  In fact this babbling makes Brian and I and our family laugh everytime we hear it, but Addis doesn't use words very often.  It's a lot of grunting and pointing.  I have come to realize that Addis is very lazy about talking.  Sometimes I worry if that's a reflection on me as a mom.  Am I doing enough?  I know he has the ability to talk, he just doesn't want to.  I try to get him to say certain words and he looks at me as if to say "I'm not your dog and pony show".  Sometimes I find myself wondering if he has these words and the ability to say them yet, then I hear him say the exact words I've been trying to get him to say when HE needs the words so I know he CANm he just doesn't WANT to.  So I am at a loss for what to do now.  Do I continue to get him things just because I know what he is trying to tell me or do I make him ask for what he wants?  I have learned over the past little while that Addis has the comprehension so I am at a crossroads.  What is in his best interest?  I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.  (I have received feedback that some people are having trouble leaving me a comment so if you have a comment and can't post, please email at jax-oz@hotmail.com or send me a message on facebook) 

Confession Friday

I confess I have been worried about a friend all week.  Honey, you are never far from my mind.  I hope you get well soon.

I confess that Addis has entered a hitting phase.  I don't care for it.  He gets frustrated and he hits things.  Me, the dogs, the wall, etc.  I"m already looking forward to the day we leave this phase behind. 

I confess that I spent the day with my family.  My brother brought over my niece and nephew to play with Addis.  My parents and sister joined us.  We watched the Lion King twice and probably pulled out every single toy Addis owns.  We ate hot dogs for lunch.  It was a lot of fun.  When it was time for my brother and the kids to go my niece shouted "I come back again. Ok?"  I told her she was welcome anytime.

I confess that this morning started out terribly.  I had dealt with 4 tantrums before I was even up a half hour.  We've been dealing with quite a few tantrums lately.  A certain someone gets bent out of shape when they don't get their way and proceeds to make angry noises at me. 

I confess that while today did not start out wonderful, I was able to look on the bright side.  It made me realize how far I have come recently in how I am feeling.  While Addis was shrieking at the top of his lungs and crying, I was able to find my Patient Mommy voice instead of dissolving into tears myself.  I say this is progress!!

I confess that I have a zillion clothes, most of which I don't wear (too big, too small, out of fashion, etc) but I do not seem to have the ability to throw them out.  I can purge plenty of other items from the house but just can't seem to part with my clothes.  I think I need an intevention.  I need a support group,  Heck, I'm close to needing those people from that disturbing show Hoarders to come in.  This is a cry for help!

I confess that I just finished the book Secret Daughter tonight.  I laughed. I cried. I identified.  Good read.

I confess that I am staring down a mountain of laundry tonight. 

I confess that at the Oktoberfest parade this past Monday I ran like a scared little girl at the first sight of a clown.  Things went from bad to worse when I was fiddling with the camera and looked up to see a clown staring me right in the face trying to hug Addis (I was holding him in my lap).  I just about peed my pants.  I think I am still trauamtized.  Seriously, why do they have to ruin a perfectly nice event like a parde by including clowns.  Can I get an amen?

I confess that I am addicted to my Blackberry.  I've only had it for just over a month and I realized this.  I am like Pavlovs dog.  The blackberry dings and I start looking to see how emailed, texted or bbm'd me.

I confess I went to see a movie last night.  It was nice to get out of the house.  I was a little reluctent at first to go to the movie because it was the remake of Footloose.  Let's keep it real here, that's a classic, it doesn't need redoing.  However, my sister had free tickets so I thought, what the heck, it's a chance to eat some popcorn and get out.  At least I'd enjoy the soundtrack, right?  I The movie turned out to be pretty decent.  I think the trick was to keep an open mind and take it at face value.  I LOVED the actor they cast for the part of Willard.  He was a favourite character in the original and in my opinion is even better in the remake.  I especially loved the scene where he's learning to dance.

Confession Friday - Thanksgiving Edition

I confess I am truly grateful this Thanksgiving. 

I confess the last few years of holidays have been very difficult and for the first time in years I am finally looking forward to a holiday and won't have to plaster a phony smile on my face to hide the pain.  No more fake it till you make it.  A genuine holiday smile will be on my face.

I'm very excited to have Addis home to share with him our holiday traditions and to start a few new ones.

I confess we have a very busy weekend ahead of us.

I confess that Saturday we will go to Grand Bend and spend the day with Brian's parents.  We always have our Thanksgiving dinner with them on Saturday.  They camp at the Scout Camp in Grand Bend with some friends and everyone gets together for dinner.  There is turkey and mashed potatoes and each family provides a side dish or dessert potluck style.  It's so peaceful up there.  It is probably our dogs favourite place to be. 

I confess that I am hosting Thanksgiving dinner for my family.  Since we now have a bigger house, we can comfortably accomodate people on holidays.  I am excited to cook the turkey.  It will only be my second attempt.

I confess I love stuffing.  So much in fact that I once stabbed my brother's hand with my fork for trying to steal my stuffing.  Luckily I didn't do any damage and it's now a running family joke.  Ange doesn't share stuffing!

I confess I am really thankful for the beautiful weather we will be having for the next 5 days.  The tempurature will be in the 20's.  Apparently those are record tempuratures for October.

I confess that since the weather will be so nice I will be taking Addis to the local Thanksgiving parade.

I confess this is a big deal for me because I'm terrified of clowns and NEVER go anywhere that I know I will see a clown.  However, I don't want my fears to be projected on Addis so I will just have to find my big girl panties.  Addis loves seeing lots of people and music so this should be right up his alley.

I confess that after the parade we are going to take Addis to Oktoberfest Family Day.  I have very fond memories of going to Family Day with my parents and siblings.  I think my favourite memory is dancing the polka with my dad.  I am so happy to carry on this family tradition.

I confess that my mom started a family tradition a few years ago where we go around the table and say what we are thankful for.  I will continue this tradition at my table.  And this year when it's my turn I will say that I am thankful for my dogs who love me unconditionally, my family who stood by me in completing our adoption, my husband who is my very best friend and my son who is pure joy.

Happy Thanksgiving!  May you all have something to be thankful for.  

Confession Friday

I confess that last weeks edition of Confession Friday was written but just as I was wrapping it up, I hit some button that deleted everything I wrote, replaced it with the letter O and automatically saved just at that time, so I lost everything.  I wasn't feeling well and was mad that I had lost everything so I just went to bed instead of writing more that night.  I meant to write it the next day but I came down with a terrible cold so decided to let it go for the week.

I confess this is the 4th time I've been sick in 4 months.  I had a cold, then strep throat, strep throat again and now another cold.  I think I need to start taking better care of myself.

I confess that tonight I had a girlfriend drop by unexpectedly and we went out for a drink and shared a plate of nachos.  It was great.  It was nice to see her and get out for a while with a friend.

I confess that I cut the evening short so I could come home and put Addis to bed.  I wanted to see how our bedtime story ended.  Last night we picked a longer book and we got through half of it before he got antsy.  We were going to finish the book tonight and I didn't want to miss the end of Don't Be So Nosy Posy or miss out on Addy's sweet "night night" kisses.

I confess that I already have Christmas on the brain.  I have finished my shopping for my father in law, my neice and nephew and I am almost done for Addis.  I like to shop early so I can avoid the malls in November and December.  They make me very Scroogey.

I confess that I can't wait to put up our Christmas tree.  I usually put it up the weekend of our anniversary (Nov 23).  I like to do this so I can enjoy it for as long as possible since it's quite a bit of work to put up.

I confess that my (our) Christmas tree is top to bottom Disney.  I only put Disney ornaments on it.  Tree topper is Tinkerbell.  The ornaments are various Disney characters in various shapes, scenes, etc.  The tree skirt is Winnie the Pooh and made especially for me by my mom.  I even have a train that goes around the bottom that is straight from Disney World and is a replica of the train there.  It may be silly but this tree brings me a lot fo joy and reminds me of many happy childhood memories.

I confess that we are planning a housewarming party.  We still have some work to do before I want to show off the house but it's not until November so I have a bit of time.

I confess I finished the book The Help and LOVED it.  It was a good read and I'm glad I branched out and read something different. 

I confess I am currently reading Secret Daughter and at this point (I've just finished Part 1) I'm struck by how much this reminds me of our journey.  A lot of what is written is how I felt only better articulated.  When my mom read it she kept telling me that if she didn't know better she'd swear I wrote it.  I now have a better understanding of what she meant.  Oh, and btw, I am really enjoying this one too.  It hits close to home but I think it's helping me process some feelings I haven't dealt with yet.

I confess that although I have felt terrible this week due to a cold, I have felt more like myself than I have in a long time.

I confess that someone told me that I need to look at my life like a chair.  If my chair is unbalanced then I can't carry the weight I'm supposed to.  To achieve a better balance I need to make sure the legs are all in good working order.  Those legs consist of sleep, nutrition, exercise and positive self talk.  If I look at it that way, it's no wonder I feel like I can't carry the load given to me.  All of those things have been taking a back seat lately.  I have been trying to work at these areas in my life and I feel a little less unsteady.

I confess that we have no plans this weekend and I am looking forward to a little bit of lazy hanging around.  I will also have no excuse not to clean my house and while I don't normally like house cleaning, I am looking forward to the "after".   

Confession Friday

I confess that I didn't confess last week because I was sick.  I had strep throat, again.  According to my doctor it isn't common for adults to get strep throat so close together (I had it in June and again in September) and I must just like to be different.  I had a fever of 103 degrees for a few days.  I am on a very strong round of penicilin.

I confess that we are enjoying a fire tonight.  We have a wood burning fireplace in our new house and it's cool enough tonight that we can enojy a fire.  I love the smell of a wood fire.  It's making me want to grab some marshmallows!

I confess that I have been speaking with someone about how I've been feeling.  It's been really helpful to get my thoughts organized.  My brain has been very busy for a while now and it's been hard to make sense of everything I've been thinking and feeling.  I've learned a lot about myself already.  Apparently my expectations of myself are too high and nobody could live up to them.  I've also learned that the past few years have made me a "glass is half empty" kind of person and that's not how I want to be so I need to be aware of this and try to change my outlook.  I need to be aware of the little voice inside and change it from being "the critic" to being "the friend".  This has really helped me clear my head.  I'm on the way to feeling more like me.

I confess that I love to people watch.  When my grandparents would come visit from England, my grandmother, my mother, my sister and I all use to love spending time in the airport, when it was time for my grandparents to go home, and people watch.  We would make up stories about who we thought these people were and where they were going or where they came from.  To this day I love people watching. 

I confess that the past few weeks has been a "mixed bag" but Addis and I have had a few really good weeks.  Addis is starting to understand things a little more and I am learning to let some things go.

I confess that I lost a good friend this week to cancer.  It was a total shock and I'm still trying to process it.  I have been thinking about blogging my thoughts and feelings about this but, right now I'm just not ready to share.  I will say that my friend and her family have been on my mind since I heard the news.  I am deeply saddened by this loss.

I confess that we bought Addis a Halloween costume this week.  He's going to look soooooooo cute.  I am really looking forward to Halloween this year.  I can't to dress him up and take pictures and bring him to our friends and neighbours houses.  Addis had a lot of fun trying on costumes.  He really does look adorable.

I confess that I have finally started reading a book that is not just "a good beach read".  I have a bunch of books that I ordered that are more thought provoking and I have just started the first one.  This book is called "The Help".  I'm about half way through and really enjoying it.

I confess that part of why I'm not feeling mysef lately is because I have let nutrition and exercise fall by the wayside.  I have talked about this is past blogs but it's time to stop talking and start doing.  I need to start keeping track of what I'm eating again and commit to at least 4 days of exercise a week.  I have no idea how to work this in, but I know that I need to find a way.  Can someone please check in next week and see if I'm doing what I said I would.  I'm one of those people that needs to be accountable to someone else to get started and into a good routine.  I think this is something else I need to work on.

I confess that I am excited that the new fall season of tv watching is starting.  I really am a huge couch potato.

I confess that while I really love the Fall, I'm sad that the Summer is over.  I have never had a Summer fly by so quickly.  Oh well, you can't stop the changing of the seasons so I might as well get on board.  I do love being able to wear jeans and a t-shirt and be comfortable.  I love Fall camping.  Hopefully we will be able to find at least one more weekend to camp before it gets too cold.  I love the crisp weather that comes with the Fall.  I love the holidays and events that happen in the Fall - Oktoberfest, Thanksgiving and Halloween. 

I confess that Addis has been sleeping through the night now for a while (Amen) but the past few nights Addis has been really unsettled.  I don't know if he's growing again and is suffering from growing pains or if it's something else.  I hope that things settle soon.

I confess that I am hoping to incorporate bedtime stories into our bedtime routine soon,  I will wait until until Addis is a little more settled again but I want to introduce books to him soon.  I have tried introducing books before but he wasn't interested but, recently he has shown an interest in books and I really want to nuture that interst.  I personally love reading and want to pass that passion on to my son. 

I confess that tonight I spent a great deal of my time putting together two toys for Addis.  These were toys I had bought a long time ago but was waiting to bring out until we were in the new house and had more space.  I got to snap together, screw together and sticker the Little People playsets.  I use to love Little People and hope that Addis feels the same.  It;s a part of my childhood I want to share with him.  

Confession Friday

I confess that we are having trouble with Oz and Addis.  We can't leave them unattended.  Addis doesn't understand that the doggie doesn't want to play and Oz is afraid of the baby who moves too fast and makes a lot of noise.  I don't really know what to do.  Oz has been a part of our lives for 8 years and was a big part in getting me through the fertility and adoption rollercoaster.  Addis is our son.  I'm hoping that we can make this work.  I'm hoping that with a little time Addis will understand that he can't play with Oz the way he does with Jax and that Oz will understand that Addis doesn't mean any harm.

I confess that this has been a very difficult week.  We've had more bad days then good.

I confess that Brian working all these extra hours is becoming very hard for me.

I confess that because this week hasn't been very easy I treated myself to some new books.  I ordered The Book of Negroes, Sarah's Key and Water For Elephants.  I'm looking forward to spending a little "me" time reading them.  Here's hoping I get some "me" time soon.

I confess that we got new phones this week.  My cell phone went on the fritz and I needed a new one.  Brian couldn't let me have a better phone so he got a new phone too.  We got the Blackberry Bold.  I like it but it is taking a little getting use to.  I sort of feel like I have big sausage fingers.  I really like the BBM feature.

I confess I am looking forward to the new fall TV lineup.  I'm such a couch potato.

I confess I'm looking forward to the start of football.  I've been watching a little pre-season and I'm hoping that Peyton Manning gets back on the field soon.  GO COLTS!!!

I confess the house is starting to feel more like home.  We still have a ton of boxes to unpack and we still have some unfurnished rooms but slowly this is starting to feel like home.

I confess I went in to work for a visit the yesterday and I felt a bit like a stranger.  They've moved my desk and it looks like I'll be working on a new team with new brokers.  I'm a little nervous about going back.  Good thing I don't have to worry about that for another few months.  Thanks to all my friends who made me feel missed and welcome yesterday.  It means a lot.

I confess that I'm in need of some fun.  I think I'll see about arranging a night out with the girls soon.  Maybe we can manage a no shoes, no shirt, no shame night.  The kind of night were you might even be tempted to ride the bull at the country bar.   

Happy Anniversary

Today marks 11 years of being with Brian. 

We orginally met at a party 14 years ago.  I had just starting dating a guy who I ended up dating for 3 years.  Brian was single.  He expressed some interest in me to a mutual friend but she told him that I was not the kind of girl who cheated so he should just move on.  The guy I was with was a very new boyfriend and I wasn't sure at that time if it was going anywhere.  I was 19 years old and wanted to keep my options open.  I was interested in Brian but he ignored me so I didn't pursue him.

Then 3 years later I broke up with that guy and ran into that mutual friend from the party.  I think the last time I saw her was at the party.  She asked how things were going and I told her fine.  She asked about my boyfriend and I told her we had just broken up.  She invited me to come out to the bar the following evening with her and a bunch of her friends.  I thought, what the heck and agreed to go.  The next night I got ready to go and waited to be picked up.  When we arrived at the bar I was introduced to her friends.  I felt very uncomfortable and wanted to go home.  Nobody was really talking to me and the only person who was had a girlfriend and she was looking less than pleased about her boyfriend talking to me.  I got up to go call my parents for a ride when the group announced they were going next door to the other bar.  This bar was a little more like a dance club so I decided to give it another hour.  I was likely to run into some other people I knew so if the people in this group didn't want to talk to me then I could find people how did.  Once we were at the other bar one of the guys in the group came up to me and started talking.  That guy was Brian.  He asked me a bunch of questions about myself.  He was so awkward.  I didn't mind that he didn't seem to have much game.  A good friend of mine had once told me that you will never find a nice guy at the bar.  She said the only way to find a nice guy at the bar is to look past the guy hitting on you at his buddy who's holding the flirts beer and go talk to him instead.  Brian made me think of the "buddy" in that situation.  I remember we danced to some Britney Spears and NSync songs.  He seemed like a really sweet guy.  At the end of the night he asked me if I was free to go for a ride on his motorcycle.  I told him I had plans with my mother.  I could tell from the look on his face that he didn't believe me.  I reassured him that I really did have plans with my mom.  She had asked me to go to some place called Sarnia and look at some Tall Ships.  He instantly looked relieved.  He said he was from Sarnia and he's just bailed on his mom that weekend so he could come out tonight.  I told him to get my number from our mutual friend and give me a call sometime.

The next day I went out with my mom and saw the ships.  When we got back I was watching some tv and the doorbell ran.  I answered the door and it was the mutual friend with Brian and another guy from the previous night.  They wanted me to go rollerblading.  Uhhhhhh, I don't rollerblade but, for this guy I'd make an exception.   I am so clumsy and uncoordinated and that day was no different.  I stumbled and fumbled my way around the block.  Brian was so sweet, he held my hand and asked all kinds of get to know me questions.  I could tell this guy was different.  He was someone very special.

That was early August.  We continued to see each other almost every day for a few weeks and at the end of August Brian asked me if I wanted to be exclusive.  I, of course, agreed.

That was the start of a beautiful relationship and friendship.

Happy Anniversary Brian!  I love you.  You have been an amazing partner.  You are truly my best friend.  Life is a rollercoaster and I can't think of anyone else I rather take the ride with.

Confession Friday

I confess that moving with a baby is not easy.  You can't pack, you can't unpack, you just can't get things done.  Poor Addis spent almost 6 days in his playpen while we painted and cleaned and moved boxes and packed up more boxes.  However, now he's refusing to set foot anywhere near the playpen so getting the boxes unpacked and the house settled is proving to be difficult.  Can't say I blame him.  He was such a trooper and didn't complain for those 6 days.  I guess I just need to deal with living out of boxes and let the wee boy crawl around and stretch his legs.

I confess that I went out tonight with a good friend.  It was a much needed few hours of "me" time.  Thanks Brenda for such a great visit!  As always, it's a pleasure hanging out.

I confess that our new house doesn't feel like home yet.  This could have something to do with still living out of boxes or the fact that we don't have enough furniture to furnish our house. 

I confess that we are currently using camping chairs as furniture in our family room.  My parents gave us an early Christmas present and bought us a sofa.  We bought two chairs that look like the kind you get from IKEA so next week after we pick up the sofa we can set up our new furniture and we can stop sitting on stuff that says Coleman.

I confess that we still had things to pack up the day we moved.  Our old house was small so we didn't have space to put any more boxes.  We had to move some out before we could pack up anymore.  One of the major things that needed packing still was our bedroom.  While I was packing up our bedroom my husband sent his father in to take down our window coverings.  Uh, not cool!  I'm not very comfortable having my father in law in my bedroom.  I'm even more uncomfortable having him there while I'm packing up my underwear.  I just about lost my mind.  My husband didn't get what the problem was but I know all you ladies reading are picking up what I'm putting down.

I confess that it's late and I'm going to bed.

Confession Friday

I confess that I hate wallpaper.  I have just spent the last few days removing wallpaper from our new house and I'm so sore I can't even lift up Addis.  That stuff just would not come off and now it feels like my elbow is on fire.  Hating wallpaper and the person who invented it.

I confess that this has been a long, tough week full of physical labour and I'm not really enjoying it.  I'm more of a laying on the couch with a good book girl then a roll up my sleeves and dig into work girl.  If anyone is looking for a nice housewarming gift I leave you with this suggestion: massage gift certificate.

I confess that this week Addis has slept through the night four times.  FOUR TIMES!!!!  It's sheer heaven.

I confess that I got a ticket for talking on my cell phone this week.  Shame on me.  STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.  I know better. 

I confess my dad got home from England yesterday and it was really nice to see him.  He's been gone a month and I missed him while he was away.

I confess I need a day to myself and soon.  I feel burnt out.  I dream of going away to a hotel with a jacuzzi tub and staying there all weekend.  I would bring a few good books and just laze in the tub or in bed and revel in the sweet silence.

I confess that right now I'm listening to Addis pounding on the front door.  Obviously I won't be enjoying much quiet time today.

I confess that lately Addis has taking up screaming to get attention and I'm at a loss of how to handle it.  I'm open to any and all suggestions, so please give some if you have any. 

I confess that people just showed up to help us start moving so I need to sign off and get cracking.

Good Things Come In Threes

Two whole nights!  Sleep, no interruptions.  No waking up.  In. A. Row.  In case you still don't know what I'm so excited about, Addis slept through the night two nights in a row.  It's amazing what a little sleep can do.  We've only had three nights in the three months we've been together so two nights back to back is something to celebrate and get excited about.

Today marks three months together.  Being together is a blessing I'm thankful for each day.

We get the keys to our new house today.  Today marks the beginning of a fresh start and a new journey.

We are a lucky family of three.

Confession Friday

I confess that today was an amazing day.  First we had a great family day at the African Lion Safari where we connected with some other Imagine families.  We got a chance to meet a family who had the same DTE as us and who I have been in contact with for over a year and their son was in the transition house with Addis.  We followed up by an evening walk with the dogs and Addis taking his maiden voyage in his wagon.

I confess that with the exception of Monday, this has been a pretty good week.

I confess that while I haven't been feeling like myself lately, I know that what I feel is actually quite common.

I confess that on Monday when I had a bad day I received some very kind words from 3 really great women and their words meant a lot to me.  Thanks Brenda, Ruth & Rana!

I confess that we only have 3 more sleeps until we get the keys to the new house.  I'm starting to get excited.  It still doesn't feel real.

I confess stepped on the scale this week and it wasn't pretty.  I've put on 6 pounds.  Ugh!  I'm hoping that once we are in the new house I can carve out some time a few times a week to use the treadmill & bowflex and try to lose this weight.  Oh, and if I'm really serious about it, it's probably not a bad idea to lay off the chips, because those aren't helping.

I confess that I'm going to keep this post short and instead go play with my son and enjoy the rest of what is left of this really great day.

Sunshine Through The Rain

Today it's been raining non-stop but even with all this rain I still see some sun.  Today is a much better day then yesterday.  Addis is happier.  So in turn, I am happier.  I took some time today to post some pictures on facebook to remind myself of the good days we have had since Addis has been home and also to remind myself there are far more good days then bad.  I'd post pictures here on this blog but I'm technically and electronically deficient so, for now, if you want to see some pictures, you'll have to check out facebook.  If you aren't on facebook but want to see a few pictures, leave a comment and I'll email you some.

If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them

I got up this morning at 7am and from about 8am on, Addis has been crying off and on all day.  Nothing seems to make him happy today. 

He cries if the dog kisses him, he cries if his Lightning McQueen car gets stuck in a corner and he can't turn it around, he cries because he's standing on his Laugh and Learn chair and doesn't know how to get down.  You get the picture.  He's obviously over tired and when he's tired he gets very clumsy so of course we have more tumbles and head bumps from him walking around with his car today. 

Addis also wouldn't go down for a nap.  I had to fight for hours to get him down and once he was down he didn't sleep soundly. Normally once he's asleep he's a pretty sound sleeper but not today.  Every little sound would disturb him, so of course today is the day the dogs decide to bark at every little sound themselves.

I went to my gym today to cancel my memebership.  I haven't been in almost 4 months.  There just doesn't seem to be the time to go, but more importantly there just doesn't seem to be the money while I'm on parental leave.  However, giving up my membership felt a little like defeat in the constant weight lose battle.

We have been eating pretty crummy food lately.  I haven't felt like cooking and with moving we've been busy.  Today I decided that I was going to take the time to cook a nice homemade nutritious meal for Brian and I.  After spending an hour and a half at the stove, I ended up with an overly seasoned burnt meal.  For some reason the carrots wouldn't cook and the last time I made this meal Brian complained that it was too bland.  In an effort to make sure if had plenty of flavour, I obviously used too much seasoning and trying to get the carrots to cook, I left it on the stove too long so it started to burn.

Neither my breakfast or lunch was very enjoyable today so I had high hopes for dinner.  At breakfast Addis kept trying to grab my protein shake because it looked like his formula and he liked my cup better then his bottle.  At lunch it took me over an hour to finish my soup because he kept getting into things and needed some comforting when he cried.  Needless to say the soup was cold by the time I finished.   When I sat down to eat my burnt, overly seasoned meal and Addis started screaming and crying, again for no apparent reason, I decided that in some cases it's best to just accept that if you can't beat them, you might as well join them.  So I put my fork down and sat at the table and had a really good cry.

Addy Facts

When we had our baby shower in April both Brian and I thought Addis would be there.  Due to the visa taking longer than expected, unfortunately, Addis wasn't there.  It was a difficult time for me and I told my parents I didn't want people asking me well meaning questions about where he was, and when he would come home, etc.  My dad took it upon himself to take a photo of Addis and blow it up bigger than life and put a blurb at the bottom about how hard we all tried to get Addis home and that he would be home as soon as possible.  He also posted star shaped construction paper around the front entrance with "Addy Facts".  Each star was titled Addy Facts and contained info about Addis.  His height, his weight, where he was from, his birthdate, our court date, etc.  It was great to see that info that day.  Although Addis couldn't be with us, he was still the centre of attention.

Anyway, the reason I told that story is that I figured it was time to share some Addy Facts so that other people could get to know the amazing boy that I do.

Likes:

Monkey blanket - this makes him smile EVERY single time he sees it.  He cuddles it in his crib and drags it around the house.  Monkey is an endless source of comfort for Addis.  Addis loves to give the monkey kisses and likes when you give monkey kisses too.  Monkey is definitely his security blanket.

Bananas - this is his favourite food so far.

Scout - this is his favourite toy.  It was given to him by his Auntie Dina and Uncle Brian.  It is a Leapfrog toy and you can plug it into you computer and put in the child's name and their favourite things and it sings and teaches them stuff.  Addis loves Scout.  He plays with him all the time.  He's figured out each paw does something when you press it.  When Addis is in his playpen for his nap he presses the paw that plays lullabies.  He sings along and dances to the music.

The Dogs - Addis loves Jax and Oz.  The more they bark or chase their toys, the funnier Addis thinks they are.  He is particularly fond of what we like to call "psycho Jax".  This is when Jax gets that crazy look in his eye and starts tearing around the house like a puppy doing laps at high speed.  Addis laughs so hard and claps his hands which only encourages Jax.  He also really likes when Oz "sings".  Oz's favourite tune is the theme song from CSI and he belts it out each time he hears it.  Again, Addis claps his hands and encourages Oz.  He loves their sloppy kisses and he cudldes them.  He hasn't quite mastered the art of being gentle but thankfully the dogs are very patient and don't seem to mind too much when Addis is crawling all over them. 

Water - Addis really likes the water.  It doesn't matter if it's the tub, a lake, a pool, his kiddie pool, the splash pad at the park or even the dogs water dish.  He likes to play in water.  He is most definitely a water baby.

Music - Addis really has music in his soul.  The stronger the beat, the more he likes it.  He dances (read: he bounces and moves his bum) and waves his hands in the air the way he sees on music videos.  He likes it when someone dances with him.

Toys - he prefers toys that have music

Dislikes:

No - this is the thing Addis dislikes the most.  He hates not being allowed to do what he wants and throws a king sized tantrum when he hears the word "No".  He throws his arms into the air and starts screaming.  He makes his angry noises and starts to hit whatever is in striking distance.

Grass - Addis does not like grass at all.  He screws his face up like he might cry and lifts his leg like a flamingo.  He then puts it down and lifts the other leg.  He tries to climb up you to get off the grass.

Sand - Oh boy, he hates this more then grass.  Sand does make him cry.  This made our trip to the beach very interesting.  He loves the water so that part was great but he freaked out if any sand touched his skin.  He was fine as long as he could sit in his stroller on play on the blanket but what a scene if he got sand on his hands!

Shoes - Addis doesn't care much for shoes.  He kicks them off.  Can't say that I blame him.  I prefer to be barefoot too.

Oiling - Addis doesn't much care to be oiled up at night.  We need to put oil on his skin and in his hair to keep them from drying out.  He always fusses when Daddy tries to oil him up, but ususally he's ok when Mommy does it.

Accomplishments:

Stairs - Addis just learned to climb stairs.  He climbed up 1 step a few weeks ago but then gave up.  He just tried it again and made it halfway up the stairs before I realized what he was doing.  Time for baby proofing!

Talking - Addis has a few words.  Mama, Dada, Hi, Baba (bottle), Bye.  He babbles non-stop.  He really has a lot he wants to say but unfortunately so far, we don't understand what he's trying to say.  I think he's close to saying dog as well.

Teething - Addis has his 2 bottom teeth, front and centre.  It looks like another one is starting to come in on the top.  He doesn't much fuss with teething.  At least he didn't for the first two.  I guess we'll see how the rest go.

Walking - Soooo close.  He walks really well when he is holding your hands.  You should see him motor around the coffee table.  He's like lighting!  He does walk fairly well if he's only holding one hand.  So far he's only taken 1 step on his own.

Standing - He is starting to stand on his own a little more.  It's only a few seconds but the time is getting longer and he's definitely getting steadier on his feet.

Kissing - Addis now gives big sloppy open mouth kisses.  These are the best kisses in the world.  He ususally saves his kisses for first thing in the morning or just before bedtime.  During the day he's too busy for cuddles and kisses.  The other day I was looking the other way and didn't realize he wanted to give mommy a kiss so he grabbed my ears and turned my head and planted one right on me.  It sure does make my heart melt to get one of these kisses.

Personality Quirks:

Sense of Humour - He has a very swarped sense of humour.  He laughs this deep belly laugh when people fall down, slip, drop something, etc.  He also laughs when he sees other kids crying.  Addis can also be very funny.  He does things that make Brian and I laugh all the time.

Sounds - Addis makes some really great sounds.  Sometimes when he gets really excited he sounds like a veloceraptor.  He also makes wookie sounds when he is excited.  If he's curious about something he makes a "hoo hoo" sound like an owl.  When he sees his bottle he laughs like Beavis and Butthead.

Facial Expressions - Addis makes a face to go along with the owl sound.  It's like he's surprised.  One of our update photos while we were waiting for the visa had him making this face and at that time I wondered what he was thinking.  Now I have a good idea about what was happening.  He was probably curious about the camera.  When he is trying to make you laugh he makes fish faces.  When Addis is so happy he makes this one face and although it's hard to describe it's probably one of my favourites.  It's like the joy is just bursting out of him.  He scrunches up his face and all you can see are his gums.  Picture a little old man with no teeth laughing hysterically.  Addis is a big flirt so when he sees a lady that's to his liking, he gives her a sideways look and gives her a knowing wink and nod.  It's like he's saying "hey baby, you know I'm cute, how you doing?".  He just cracks me up with all his facial expressions.

I have really enjoyed getting to know this wonderful little boy over the past few months.  I can't wait to learn more about him and watch him develop.

Ewedehalo Addis.

Confession Friday

I confess that I am STILL working on the post about Addis.  Everytime I think I've finished it, I think of something else I want to add.  I think I'm just going to go ahead and post it soon and maybe in a few weeks post another one.

I confess that I ate out twice today.

I confess that at lunch I was sitting out on the patio with Addis waiting for my friend Em to show up and all of a sudden I see Ratatouille scurrying around the chairs and tables.  Yuck!!!  That's one thing you never want to see, is a big fat mouse running around where food is being served.  Let's just say, I'm glad we were outside and I spent the rest of the lunch trying to convince myself Ratatouille and his buddies couldn't make it in to the kitchen.

I confess that at dinner tonight some incredibly rude man let the door slam in my face even though he could see my husband was holding the door open for him and his wife.  Needless to say Brian was not impressed to see this especially since I was carrying Addis and let the man know that his rudeness was not appreciated.

I confess that we have decided to let Addis cry it out most of the times he wakes up at night.  It's really hard to listen to him crying and not go sooth him, but we really needed a change in the sleep department in this house.  Although I'm finding it hard, I do like the results we are seeing so far.  I feel more rested and therefore have more patience and Addis doesn't seem affected by us not coming in.  In fact, if anything, he seems to be in a better mood.  I think that by us not coming in, he settles back down quicker and has less disruption to his sleep.

I confess that we got some packing done this week and we will get some more done tomorrow.

I confess that I am finally going to see Harry Potter on Sunday.  My friend Em is watching Addis for us and I'm not sure which I'm more excited about.  The adult time, the movie or the popcorn.  I'll let you know which next week.

I confess that I bought a few books this week that aren't my usual literary preference.  I confessed in a previous Friday that I wanted to start reading more "intelligent" books besides just trashy romance novels and good beach reads.  So in a effort to branch out out a little more I got The Help and Cutting for Stone.  I also have Secret Daughter that I want to read.  I think once I am done these I am going to get The Book of Negroes. 

I confess that we found flea on Oz this week.  I don't mean fleas as in plural, I mean flea as in singular.  One flea.  I keep checking for more but I can't find any.  Not that I am complaining but I find this very strange.  This is exactly what happened two years ago with Oz.  We found flea.  Just the one.  It's like he sees this little guy and says "hey, hop on little buddy and we'll be friends".  Once we get rid of flea no more show up.  WEIRD!

I confess that if I hear that stupid song on the Lightning McQueen car that Addis has again, I will take out the batteries and super glue the compartment shut so no new batteries can ever be put in there again. 

I confess that today I received a gift from one of the ladies who works with the catering staff at work.  I was so very touched my her kindness.  It amazes me how many people care about Addis and have taken an interest in out story and journey.

I confess that I saw a book today called Go The F**K To Sleep and it cracked me up.  It was written by a man who had trouble getting his child to sleep when she was little.  It's written in rhymes and illustrated like a children's book but it's definitely for adults.  Especially those who understand the challenges of getting your kids to sleep and keeping them that way.

Confession Friday

I confess that I have a couple mosquito bites that I got today while visiting Brian's parents and they are driving me bananas!  Especially the one that's at my hairline.  Why do those darn things always bite me in the face???

I confess that the bites make me look like I have pimples

I confess that today we bought a Blu-ray player.  We had to do this because Brian let Addis play with our DVD remote and now it doesn't work.  The only thing it's good for is to use it as a rattle.  Now, I guess to be fair, we probably could have still used our DVD player but we would have had to use the buttons on the unit so we didn't have to get it just for the reason our remote is broken.  However, the DVD player is 9 years old.  It was a gift from my brother when we got married and it doesn't always work.  Sometimes it freezes for a few seconds and then jumps to the part it should be at.   

I confess that I've had to do a lot of the parenting myself this week.  Brian has done 3 side jobs this week.  It's great money but it does leave both Brian and I tired as we are doing more then normal.

I confess that I have been keeping up with our monthly update.  I take pictures of Addis and his height and weight on the last Friday of each month and put that info in my brag book.

I confess that we still have done much packing.  What little packing we have done seems to be all the things I have needed recently so I just don't want to pack anymore.

I confess I have been working on a post about Addis for a few days now.  I wanted to share some of the things that make Addis who he is.  Unfortunately there just hasn't been much time for blogging the past few days.

I confess that come hell or high water, my dogs are getting a bath this weekend.  I just can't take smelly dog smell anymore.

I confess that we have no plans this long weekend.  I am so glad that there's nothing going on.  I plan to take some time for myself and get some sun and spend time in my favourite staycation spot, Puerto Backyardo.

I confess that I spent some money on myself this week.  I bought some pj's.  All my summer pj's are looking sad and worn out or don't fit (at least they are too big) so I decided it was time to treat myself.  Only problem is now I can't get the cotton robe I saw off my mind.  I might have to go back and pick it up.  It was $9.99 from La Vie En Rose.  They are having a great sale right now.

I confess I love a great sale.  Ok, let's keep it real, I just love to shop.  In my defense, I'm really good at it.  I can smell a bargain a mile away. 

I confess Brian just came in and told me our moron of a neighbour is teaching his son to mow the lawn.  The problem with this is his son is maybe 6 years old.  He can't even see over the handle.  So of course I have to get up and see this for myself because I am a nosy neighbour.  I'm sure it's like trying to get a monkey to teach another monkey brain surgery.  Idiot!  I'm all for teaching children to clean up after themselves and to help with chores around the house, but come on, can we at least teach them age appropriate chores?!

Confession Friday

I confess that the past two weeks have been much better.  KNOCK ON WOOD!!  I said last weekend that we had a much better week and Monday was a difficult day.  I should know better then to say things like that without knocking on wood or something.  That sort of thing use to happen with the dogs all the time when they were puppies.  I would comment on how good they had been and the very next day come home to find a chewed shoe or a whole in the wall.  However, I think we (read me) are starting to find our groove.

I confess that I LOVE romantic comedies.  I could watch the same Rom Com a million times.  I own a decent number of them on DVD.  I PVR them when they are TV.  I rent them as soon as they are on DVD.  Brian will watch them with me but he draws the line at going to the theatre to see them.

I confess that I am seriously considering another tattoo.  However, since I'm a huge wuss, this could be a problem.  When I got my first tattoo I had to get a numby patch.  I put a topical numbing cream on my foot so I wouldn't feel the pain.  I will definitely need to do the patch trick again but you really aren't supposed to according to the tattoo artists.  Why am I such a wimp?

I confess that our first time leaving Addis was hard for me.  I had a little anxiety about it.  Addis ended up spending the night at my parents place last Friday.  Obviously I trust my parents so my anxiety didn't stem from being worried he'd be cared for.  Not sure why I felt anxious, but I did.  When we picked him up he seemed a little annoyed with Brian & I for leaving him.  It took him a while to warm up to us.  Not sure if this was a setback in attachment or just a child his displeasure at ihs parents not being 100% available.  We may wait a little while before we have another sleepover.

I confess that I am watching Big Brother this summer.  I realize watching this show may make me seem lame but at the end of the day I just want don't feel like watching something that requires me to think.

I confess that although I love to read I also don't read serious books.  I am an avid reader of Nora Roberts.  However, I have vowed to try reading some more intelectual books.  I will keep you updated on how successful I am with this new reading venture.

I confess that lately there haven't been many comments on my blog and I'm starting to wonder if anyone is reading.  Anyone out there????

I confess that today I have straight hair.  I had a hair appointment and my stylist straightened my hair.  I get mixed reviews when I have straight hair.  One of my friends wonders why I'd ever straighten my hair when I could leave it curly.  She is very envious of the curls.  Other people really like it.  In fact I had one person tell me, and I quote "your hotness factor just went waaaaay up".  As for me, I just think it's nice to change my look every once in a while.

I confess that Addis and I went to the beach this week.  We had a great day.  I love the beach.  He loves the water.  Addis didn't really care much for the sand.  He hates the sand more then he hates grass.  He cried as soon as any sand got on him.  However, he laughed and smiled non stop whenever he was in the water.  I think we will have to make a few more trips to the beach this summer but next time we will include daddy.

I confess that I got a parkign ticket at the beach.  I am still not impressed!  I parked on the main street in Grand Bend because I didn't want to pay $15 to park at the beach parking lot.  Well, joke's on me cause now I have a $25 parking ticket because sometime over the winter it seems the town implemented a 2hour parking limit on main street.  In my defence the signs were not clear.  They placed the signs close to the buildings instead of closer to the road.  For people who have been to Grand Bend and parked on the road in the past but live out of town, we wouldn't necessarily know about the new parking laws.  Should have just paid the stupid $15 in the first place. 

 I confess that Brian will be working a lot of extra hours in the next few weeks because he's doing side work.  While the extra money will certainly be good, I'm also a bit worried about doing this all on my own.  My confidence has been pretty shaken.

I confess that I have some really weird food faves.  One of my guilty pleasures is chunks of mozzarella cheese dipped in marinara sauce.  I know, I know, that's totally gross but it's soooo good.  I like my orange juice watered down.  I make it about 50% juice and 50% water.  I like brown beans on toast.  When I eat potato chips I eat the curly ones first.  I like cereal but only if it's dry.  If I have to eat it with milk, I only pour in a bit of cereal at a time, eat that up and then pour in some more.  I HATE soggy cereal.  I dip my Doritos in cream cheese.  These are just a few of my strange eating habits/likes/patterns.  I'm a total freak!

I confess that I'm dying to see the Harry Potter movie.  I love Harry Potter!!!!  Brian, my mom, my sister and I have a tradition of seeing the movies together.  My sister has been really sick lately so until she feels better she won't/can't go see it.  So Heather..... get well soon!!!  We have to go see Harry!!!  Obviously, I want you to get well so that you are feeling better, but can you do it quickly, it's time for Pottermania.  Seriously though, get well soon sis.  I love you.  Praying you are healthy really soon.

I confess that we take possesion of our house in 3 weeks and we have barely packed.  What little packing we have done has not been a "we" sort of effort.  Brian has done it all.  I just can't find the "get up and go" to do any packing.  I need to find it soon because we have a lot to pack and it won't do it all by itself.

I confess that I will miss this house.  Could that be why I haven't wanted to pack??

Confession Friday

I confess that life is very busy.  I am finding it hard to post blogs, check emails, creep facebook, etc. 

I confess that we had a great time camping.  Addis loved it!  He enjoys being outside and around people.  We took him swimming in Lake Erie.  The water was pretty shallow so we could go out fairly far and Addis could still stand.  The last time we went swimming the waves lulled him to sleep.  He actually slept through the night on our first night there.

I confess that knowing Addis slept through the night on our first night of ccamping has had me seriously considering setting up our tent trailer in the driveway and sleeping outside with him.  Don't laugh or judge.  I'm really getting to the point where I'd try anything to have him sleep through the night.  I'm sooooo tired.

I confess that this weekend is very busy.  Addis has a doctor''s appointment, then I have my company picnic and then a wedding.  And that's just today!  We also have a few birthday parties we've been invited to and unfortunately we are going to have miss a few of them.

I confess that tonight's wedding is the first night out Brian and I will have alone since we came home.  I'm looking forward to it.  Addis is actually spending the night at my parents place so I will get to sleep through the night AND sleep in!!!  Woo Hoo!!

I confess I'm also looking forward to seeing my friend marry a man that she was destined to be with.  They dated when they were younger and obviously just couldn't stay apart.  They make such a nice couple.

I confess that I FINALLY did some grocery shopping.  We haven't done groceries since we came home from Ethiopia.  We'd picked up odds & ends but had not done a big shop.  Well, I did it.  All by my self!  It may seem like a stupid thing to be proud of myself for but I actually hate grocery shopping.  Even when it's just Brian and I and we can get it done quickly it just feels like a pain.  I was pretty nervous about trying to shop solo.  Especially because I wasn't exactly solo.  I would be shopping with Addis.  Well I am pleased to say the shopping went well.  We went to several stores because now I have to shop according to the sales and Addis was well behaved.  It wasn't until we were at the last store in the checkout that he started to get cranky.  All in all, I'd say it was a success.

I confess I just heard Brian say to Addis "Buddy, are you going to hold your bottle.  I'm not your maid".  I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time.  Poor Brian, he actually believes that he's not at Addy's beck and call.

I confess that I really don't understand why women wear white or light coloured skirts/pants and put on black underwear.  Do they think that we can't see them?  Do they want us to see the black panties?  I don't get it.  It looks trashy.  Even worse, I wonder where these women's friends are.  I would hope if I made such a grave fashion mistake that my friends would point it out.  You know, something along the lines of "Uh hunny, I can see your panties, and it's not a good look for you".

I confess that I have lost my brag book with all the photos I have printed of Addis.  I have no idea where it went.  I think I had it last week and now suddenly it's missing.  I'm not very happy about it.  I'm about to toss the house looking for it.  Brian won't be too impressed with the mess I leave behind.

I confess that I spent a little money shopping yesterday.  I bought a few new items for my summer wardrobe.  Don't tell Brian!  I finally got an EI cheque to I indulged a little of the money on myself.

I confess that I have been having a tough time with some of the adjustments of mommyhood. 

I confess this week has gotten better.  We discovered the use of the playpen for short periods of time so mommy can have a break or get things done.

I confess we have been getting out more often and that is helping improve my frame of mind.

I confess I am praying for good weather Wednesday because Addis and I are going to the beach.  I can't wait to get my beach on!  I probably have no business wearing a bathing suit these days but who cares, I probably won't see anyone I know.

I confess that I admit defeat in the battle of Ange vs Ketchup chips.  I am shamed to say that I have eaten 3 bags in the past week.  I'm soooo the fat kid!

2 Years

I woke up this morning and went about my day.  The day started early.  Addis woke up at 5:20am.  It took about an hour to get him back to sleep but then he slept for another two hours.  We woke up again at 8:45am.  We got up, said good morning to the doggies, I made myself a tea and fed him his pureed bananas.  I took a shower and started getting ready to go out for brunch with my dad.  It was like any other day.  It wasn't until I checked out a yahoo board that I am part of that I was reminded what today actually is.  How could I forget?  I guess it wasn't that I forgot, so much as lost track of my days.  As soon as I realized that today is the two year anniversary of the bankruptcy all those feelings came flooding back.  It amazes me that even after all this time it still can cut deeply. 

July 13, 2009.  That day will forever mean something to me.  Two years ago the adoption agency we were using went bankrupt.  Not only did it go bankrupt but there were allegations of fraud.  There were families left not knowing what would happen to the children that were legally theirs, families who lost referrals of children whose faces they had grown to love and families like Brian & I who had no idea if we would ever be parents.  Two years ago my whole world came crashing down on me. I felt like I had lost another baby. I felt like my dreams of a family would never come true. I couldn't stop crying. I was sad, angry and felt so utterly hopeless. I was lost. I went to work and my co-workers and friends would talk to me and I could see their mouths moving but nothing they said registered. I was like a zombie. I had to take some time off work because the stress and anxiety was just too much.


I wanted to do something but it seemed hopeless.  How could I ever fix this?  I couldn't do anything, but WE, well WE could make all the difference.  It took a group of 450 families to make a change.  I had a small part in doing the most rewarding thing I've ever been part of.  Because families, businesses, politicians, media and so many others stood up and said "this is wrong and this needs to be fixed" we were able to bring the agency out of bankruptcy and move towards the completion of our families.  Some families walked away.  Some couldn't afford the money to pay the restructuring fees, some just couldn't take the chance of more disappointment and some just had enough.  I feel for each of those families.  Brian & I took a chance.  We stayed with the new agency and for us the gamble paid off. 

Today I am in a much different place.  Today I was able to get up with my son and play with him and not have a dark cloud hanging over my head.  For a very long time I wondered if we would ever see our family complete.  Even after the first referral December 16, 2009 I was afraid to believe we would have a child.  Even after we were matched to the sweetest boy I had ever seen, I doubted.  I don't think I fully trusted that this little boy was mine, was part of our family forever until we were back in Canada with him safely in our home. 

The bankruptcy left some very deep scars.  I trust less.  I smile less.  However, slowly those scars are fading.  I smiled a lot today.  I got to hold Addis and play with him and watch him explore the new world around him and listen to him laugh. 

However, today there were also tears.  It's hard not to cry when I remember that day.  I pray each day that all the families can complete their adoptions and bering children into their lives.  I even hope that maybe they too will one day be able to "forget".

I hope that anyone reading this doesn't think that I am being flippant or callous and could "forget" such an important day.  I know that I will never forget what happened.  It is part of our family history.  However, I think not having the bankruptcy on my mind consumming my every thought, which it use to do, is a sign that I have healed, if only just a little.

I am one of the lucky families who has brought a child home under the new agency.  I will continue to hope, pray and fight until each family is complete.

Yes, WE can!