Monday, February 21, 2011

Family Day

So today is a holiday.  I'm thankful for the day off work.  I'm more thankful for being able to sleep in.  I'm a wee bit sad because part of our family isn't here.  I woke up thinking of Addis this morning.  I think about him everyday but this morning before I even opened my eyes, he was on my mind.  I dreamt about him all night.  Some good dreams, some not so good.  I'm starting to feel a little anxiety about him coming home.  Will I be a good mom, will I be able to provide for him, etc.  I'm assuming these are normal first time mother fears.  I love him and I can provide the basic needs for him.  So what if he doesn't have designer clothes, or get to go to Disney World every other year or I can't buy him a car on his 16th birthday.  After being in Ethiopia I realize these things are not important. Our love for him is the most important thing we can give him and I have that by the truckload.  I wish very deeply he was home today so we could celebrate Family Day together.  To be honest I'm very tired of family holidays without our son home and included.  So today, I will spend the day doing things that make me feel closer to Addis.  I will organize his room, I will complete the photo album covers for all 9 of our albums from the trip and put those in his room.  I will look at his picture and dream of the day I get to hold him again.

I Love you Addis

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