Confession Friday

I confess the past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity.

I confess today was my last official day as an Express underwriter.  Starting Monday I go back to my old position!!!!  I can't begin to tell you how excited I am.  I am looking forward to my new desk buddy.  I am looking forward to learning all kinds of new things becasue I hear the territory in which I'll be working is a learning experience everyday.  I am looking forward to working with a few old favourite brokers and getting to know some new ones.  I am MOST excited about engaging my brain on a daily basis.  I can't wait for Monday!!!!!

I confess that I caught myself listening to bubble gum pop this morning anf rocking out.  OMG!  What is wrong with me?  I was listening to "Nothing My Love Can't Fix" by Joey Lawrence (JOEY LAWRENCE???) and signing along.  What is my trauma? I am embarrassed for myself.  Obviously I need help!

I confess that Addis hurt himself this week and I feel amazing amounts of guilt.  It was my sister's birthday and we were having a party.  The kids had already eaten and the adults were just finishing up dinner.  I'm not sure of the exact way things played out but I do remember hearing my brother's girlfriend screaming that Addis was bleeding.  I jumped up with a cold fear in my belly not knowing how bad it could be but never thinking it could be that bad.  When I got to him there was blood everywhere.  It covered his entire face.  It was in his eyes, his nose and in his mouth.  I could not tell where the blood was coming from.  It was the worst feeling.  I was scared.  I don't handle blood well.  I have a weak stomach.  Apparently my family is amazed at how well I handled the situation.  I don't feel I handled it well.  I grabbed him up and strong armed him so we could find the source of blood and despite his screaming and protests put a sumo wrestler grip on him.  When we finally saw the gash on his forehead and realized this definitely required a trip to the hospital, I walked out of the house without shoes.  I took one look at my heels and thought "no way".  Thankfully I had a pair of flips flops in the car.  One we were at the hospital and checked in (after 45 minutes and some harsh words for the triage nurse) I lost it.  I went outside for a good cry.  Long story short, we waited about 6 hours, Addis had 3 stitches, he finally fell asleep about midnight and slept through getting the stitches.

I confess that I have put my "serious" literature aside for some more summer friendly chick lit.  I just started reading a book called The Castaways.  I really enjoy this authors style and think I might order some of her books.

I confess that this weekend my in-laws are coming and I have made plans for us to enjoy as a family.  It starts with swimming lessons.  They will get to see Addis in the pool which I always find a real joy.  Perhaps they will help us with some projects around the house if the weather co-operates and if it doesn't my mother-in-law & I will head to the mall with Addis,  Our evening plans include some much anticipated family movies I've been waiting to watch "Dolphin Tale" and "We Bought A Zoo".

I confess that my husband is givng me the stink eye cause he wants to watch tv and my blogging is holding that up so I will finish up quickly.

I confess that I have ordered some fun adoption t-shirts and I'm looking forward to them coming in.

I confess that I am making a concentrated effort to spend more time on myself.  That sounds silly because in many ways I am very selfish.  However in the past few months I have let a lot of things go.  I am trying to make time to do the little things that I let become unimportant.  I have pulled out my body lotion and try to make time to apply that after my shower each morning.  I am trying to fit in exercise (that is still a major work in progress).  I am trying to read during the day other then a few minutes before bed.  I feel like I'm a work in progress.

I confess that we all still miss Oz.  The other night we were watching tv and CSI came on.  Since we had to put Oz down I have fast forwarded through the theme song of CSI.  Listening to it was just too painful.  Oz would howl along to the beat every single time he heard it.  He could be in a dead sleep and the second he heard the first note, he would pop up and begin his rendition.  The other night I wanted to feel close to Oz and remember him so I finally let the song play.  This time as soon as the first note played Jax woke up from his sleep and looked around for his brother.  I broke my heart.  We are all still feeling the loss of Oz.