Confession Friday

I confess that last weeks edition of Confession Friday was written but just as I was wrapping it up, I hit some button that deleted everything I wrote, replaced it with the letter O and automatically saved just at that time, so I lost everything.  I wasn't feeling well and was mad that I had lost everything so I just went to bed instead of writing more that night.  I meant to write it the next day but I came down with a terrible cold so decided to let it go for the week.

I confess this is the 4th time I've been sick in 4 months.  I had a cold, then strep throat, strep throat again and now another cold.  I think I need to start taking better care of myself.

I confess that tonight I had a girlfriend drop by unexpectedly and we went out for a drink and shared a plate of nachos.  It was great.  It was nice to see her and get out for a while with a friend.

I confess that I cut the evening short so I could come home and put Addis to bed.  I wanted to see how our bedtime story ended.  Last night we picked a longer book and we got through half of it before he got antsy.  We were going to finish the book tonight and I didn't want to miss the end of Don't Be So Nosy Posy or miss out on Addy's sweet "night night" kisses.

I confess that I already have Christmas on the brain.  I have finished my shopping for my father in law, my neice and nephew and I am almost done for Addis.  I like to shop early so I can avoid the malls in November and December.  They make me very Scroogey.

I confess that I can't wait to put up our Christmas tree.  I usually put it up the weekend of our anniversary (Nov 23).  I like to do this so I can enjoy it for as long as possible since it's quite a bit of work to put up.

I confess that my (our) Christmas tree is top to bottom Disney.  I only put Disney ornaments on it.  Tree topper is Tinkerbell.  The ornaments are various Disney characters in various shapes, scenes, etc.  The tree skirt is Winnie the Pooh and made especially for me by my mom.  I even have a train that goes around the bottom that is straight from Disney World and is a replica of the train there.  It may be silly but this tree brings me a lot fo joy and reminds me of many happy childhood memories.

I confess that we are planning a housewarming party.  We still have some work to do before I want to show off the house but it's not until November so I have a bit of time.

I confess I finished the book The Help and LOVED it.  It was a good read and I'm glad I branched out and read something different. 

I confess I am currently reading Secret Daughter and at this point (I've just finished Part 1) I'm struck by how much this reminds me of our journey.  A lot of what is written is how I felt only better articulated.  When my mom read it she kept telling me that if she didn't know better she'd swear I wrote it.  I now have a better understanding of what she meant.  Oh, and btw, I am really enjoying this one too.  It hits close to home but I think it's helping me process some feelings I haven't dealt with yet.

I confess that although I have felt terrible this week due to a cold, I have felt more like myself than I have in a long time.

I confess that someone told me that I need to look at my life like a chair.  If my chair is unbalanced then I can't carry the weight I'm supposed to.  To achieve a better balance I need to make sure the legs are all in good working order.  Those legs consist of sleep, nutrition, exercise and positive self talk.  If I look at it that way, it's no wonder I feel like I can't carry the load given to me.  All of those things have been taking a back seat lately.  I have been trying to work at these areas in my life and I feel a little less unsteady.

I confess that we have no plans this weekend and I am looking forward to a little bit of lazy hanging around.  I will also have no excuse not to clean my house and while I don't normally like house cleaning, I am looking forward to the "after".   

Confession Friday

I confess that I didn't confess last week because I was sick.  I had strep throat, again.  According to my doctor it isn't common for adults to get strep throat so close together (I had it in June and again in September) and I must just like to be different.  I had a fever of 103 degrees for a few days.  I am on a very strong round of penicilin.

I confess that we are enjoying a fire tonight.  We have a wood burning fireplace in our new house and it's cool enough tonight that we can enojy a fire.  I love the smell of a wood fire.  It's making me want to grab some marshmallows!

I confess that I have been speaking with someone about how I've been feeling.  It's been really helpful to get my thoughts organized.  My brain has been very busy for a while now and it's been hard to make sense of everything I've been thinking and feeling.  I've learned a lot about myself already.  Apparently my expectations of myself are too high and nobody could live up to them.  I've also learned that the past few years have made me a "glass is half empty" kind of person and that's not how I want to be so I need to be aware of this and try to change my outlook.  I need to be aware of the little voice inside and change it from being "the critic" to being "the friend".  This has really helped me clear my head.  I'm on the way to feeling more like me.

I confess that I love to people watch.  When my grandparents would come visit from England, my grandmother, my mother, my sister and I all use to love spending time in the airport, when it was time for my grandparents to go home, and people watch.  We would make up stories about who we thought these people were and where they were going or where they came from.  To this day I love people watching. 

I confess that the past few weeks has been a "mixed bag" but Addis and I have had a few really good weeks.  Addis is starting to understand things a little more and I am learning to let some things go.

I confess that I lost a good friend this week to cancer.  It was a total shock and I'm still trying to process it.  I have been thinking about blogging my thoughts and feelings about this but, right now I'm just not ready to share.  I will say that my friend and her family have been on my mind since I heard the news.  I am deeply saddened by this loss.

I confess that we bought Addis a Halloween costume this week.  He's going to look soooooooo cute.  I am really looking forward to Halloween this year.  I can't to dress him up and take pictures and bring him to our friends and neighbours houses.  Addis had a lot of fun trying on costumes.  He really does look adorable.

I confess that I have finally started reading a book that is not just "a good beach read".  I have a bunch of books that I ordered that are more thought provoking and I have just started the first one.  This book is called "The Help".  I'm about half way through and really enjoying it.

I confess that part of why I'm not feeling mysef lately is because I have let nutrition and exercise fall by the wayside.  I have talked about this is past blogs but it's time to stop talking and start doing.  I need to start keeping track of what I'm eating again and commit to at least 4 days of exercise a week.  I have no idea how to work this in, but I know that I need to find a way.  Can someone please check in next week and see if I'm doing what I said I would.  I'm one of those people that needs to be accountable to someone else to get started and into a good routine.  I think this is something else I need to work on.

I confess that I am excited that the new fall season of tv watching is starting.  I really am a huge couch potato.

I confess that while I really love the Fall, I'm sad that the Summer is over.  I have never had a Summer fly by so quickly.  Oh well, you can't stop the changing of the seasons so I might as well get on board.  I do love being able to wear jeans and a t-shirt and be comfortable.  I love Fall camping.  Hopefully we will be able to find at least one more weekend to camp before it gets too cold.  I love the crisp weather that comes with the Fall.  I love the holidays and events that happen in the Fall - Oktoberfest, Thanksgiving and Halloween. 

I confess that Addis has been sleeping through the night now for a while (Amen) but the past few nights Addis has been really unsettled.  I don't know if he's growing again and is suffering from growing pains or if it's something else.  I hope that things settle soon.

I confess that I am hoping to incorporate bedtime stories into our bedtime routine soon,  I will wait until until Addis is a little more settled again but I want to introduce books to him soon.  I have tried introducing books before but he wasn't interested but, recently he has shown an interest in books and I really want to nuture that interst.  I personally love reading and want to pass that passion on to my son. 

I confess that tonight I spent a great deal of my time putting together two toys for Addis.  These were toys I had bought a long time ago but was waiting to bring out until we were in the new house and had more space.  I got to snap together, screw together and sticker the Little People playsets.  I use to love Little People and hope that Addis feels the same.  It;s a part of my childhood I want to share with him.  

Confession Friday

I confess that we are having trouble with Oz and Addis.  We can't leave them unattended.  Addis doesn't understand that the doggie doesn't want to play and Oz is afraid of the baby who moves too fast and makes a lot of noise.  I don't really know what to do.  Oz has been a part of our lives for 8 years and was a big part in getting me through the fertility and adoption rollercoaster.  Addis is our son.  I'm hoping that we can make this work.  I'm hoping that with a little time Addis will understand that he can't play with Oz the way he does with Jax and that Oz will understand that Addis doesn't mean any harm.

I confess that this has been a very difficult week.  We've had more bad days then good.

I confess that Brian working all these extra hours is becoming very hard for me.

I confess that because this week hasn't been very easy I treated myself to some new books.  I ordered The Book of Negroes, Sarah's Key and Water For Elephants.  I'm looking forward to spending a little "me" time reading them.  Here's hoping I get some "me" time soon.

I confess that we got new phones this week.  My cell phone went on the fritz and I needed a new one.  Brian couldn't let me have a better phone so he got a new phone too.  We got the Blackberry Bold.  I like it but it is taking a little getting use to.  I sort of feel like I have big sausage fingers.  I really like the BBM feature.

I confess I am looking forward to the new fall TV lineup.  I'm such a couch potato.

I confess I'm looking forward to the start of football.  I've been watching a little pre-season and I'm hoping that Peyton Manning gets back on the field soon.  GO COLTS!!!

I confess the house is starting to feel more like home.  We still have a ton of boxes to unpack and we still have some unfurnished rooms but slowly this is starting to feel like home.

I confess I went in to work for a visit the yesterday and I felt a bit like a stranger.  They've moved my desk and it looks like I'll be working on a new team with new brokers.  I'm a little nervous about going back.  Good thing I don't have to worry about that for another few months.  Thanks to all my friends who made me feel missed and welcome yesterday.  It means a lot.

I confess that I'm in need of some fun.  I think I'll see about arranging a night out with the girls soon.  Maybe we can manage a no shoes, no shirt, no shame night.  The kind of night were you might even be tempted to ride the bull at the country bar.