If You Can't Beat Them, Join Them

I got up this morning at 7am and from about 8am on, Addis has been crying off and on all day.  Nothing seems to make him happy today. 

He cries if the dog kisses him, he cries if his Lightning McQueen car gets stuck in a corner and he can't turn it around, he cries because he's standing on his Laugh and Learn chair and doesn't know how to get down.  You get the picture.  He's obviously over tired and when he's tired he gets very clumsy so of course we have more tumbles and head bumps from him walking around with his car today. 

Addis also wouldn't go down for a nap.  I had to fight for hours to get him down and once he was down he didn't sleep soundly. Normally once he's asleep he's a pretty sound sleeper but not today.  Every little sound would disturb him, so of course today is the day the dogs decide to bark at every little sound themselves.

I went to my gym today to cancel my memebership.  I haven't been in almost 4 months.  There just doesn't seem to be the time to go, but more importantly there just doesn't seem to be the money while I'm on parental leave.  However, giving up my membership felt a little like defeat in the constant weight lose battle.

We have been eating pretty crummy food lately.  I haven't felt like cooking and with moving we've been busy.  Today I decided that I was going to take the time to cook a nice homemade nutritious meal for Brian and I.  After spending an hour and a half at the stove, I ended up with an overly seasoned burnt meal.  For some reason the carrots wouldn't cook and the last time I made this meal Brian complained that it was too bland.  In an effort to make sure if had plenty of flavour, I obviously used too much seasoning and trying to get the carrots to cook, I left it on the stove too long so it started to burn.

Neither my breakfast or lunch was very enjoyable today so I had high hopes for dinner.  At breakfast Addis kept trying to grab my protein shake because it looked like his formula and he liked my cup better then his bottle.  At lunch it took me over an hour to finish my soup because he kept getting into things and needed some comforting when he cried.  Needless to say the soup was cold by the time I finished.   When I sat down to eat my burnt, overly seasoned meal and Addis started screaming and crying, again for no apparent reason, I decided that in some cases it's best to just accept that if you can't beat them, you might as well join them.  So I put my fork down and sat at the table and had a really good cry.

Addy Facts

When we had our baby shower in April both Brian and I thought Addis would be there.  Due to the visa taking longer than expected, unfortunately, Addis wasn't there.  It was a difficult time for me and I told my parents I didn't want people asking me well meaning questions about where he was, and when he would come home, etc.  My dad took it upon himself to take a photo of Addis and blow it up bigger than life and put a blurb at the bottom about how hard we all tried to get Addis home and that he would be home as soon as possible.  He also posted star shaped construction paper around the front entrance with "Addy Facts".  Each star was titled Addy Facts and contained info about Addis.  His height, his weight, where he was from, his birthdate, our court date, etc.  It was great to see that info that day.  Although Addis couldn't be with us, he was still the centre of attention.

Anyway, the reason I told that story is that I figured it was time to share some Addy Facts so that other people could get to know the amazing boy that I do.

Likes:

Monkey blanket - this makes him smile EVERY single time he sees it.  He cuddles it in his crib and drags it around the house.  Monkey is an endless source of comfort for Addis.  Addis loves to give the monkey kisses and likes when you give monkey kisses too.  Monkey is definitely his security blanket.

Bananas - this is his favourite food so far.

Scout - this is his favourite toy.  It was given to him by his Auntie Dina and Uncle Brian.  It is a Leapfrog toy and you can plug it into you computer and put in the child's name and their favourite things and it sings and teaches them stuff.  Addis loves Scout.  He plays with him all the time.  He's figured out each paw does something when you press it.  When Addis is in his playpen for his nap he presses the paw that plays lullabies.  He sings along and dances to the music.

The Dogs - Addis loves Jax and Oz.  The more they bark or chase their toys, the funnier Addis thinks they are.  He is particularly fond of what we like to call "psycho Jax".  This is when Jax gets that crazy look in his eye and starts tearing around the house like a puppy doing laps at high speed.  Addis laughs so hard and claps his hands which only encourages Jax.  He also really likes when Oz "sings".  Oz's favourite tune is the theme song from CSI and he belts it out each time he hears it.  Again, Addis claps his hands and encourages Oz.  He loves their sloppy kisses and he cudldes them.  He hasn't quite mastered the art of being gentle but thankfully the dogs are very patient and don't seem to mind too much when Addis is crawling all over them. 

Water - Addis really likes the water.  It doesn't matter if it's the tub, a lake, a pool, his kiddie pool, the splash pad at the park or even the dogs water dish.  He likes to play in water.  He is most definitely a water baby.

Music - Addis really has music in his soul.  The stronger the beat, the more he likes it.  He dances (read: he bounces and moves his bum) and waves his hands in the air the way he sees on music videos.  He likes it when someone dances with him.

Toys - he prefers toys that have music

Dislikes:

No - this is the thing Addis dislikes the most.  He hates not being allowed to do what he wants and throws a king sized tantrum when he hears the word "No".  He throws his arms into the air and starts screaming.  He makes his angry noises and starts to hit whatever is in striking distance.

Grass - Addis does not like grass at all.  He screws his face up like he might cry and lifts his leg like a flamingo.  He then puts it down and lifts the other leg.  He tries to climb up you to get off the grass.

Sand - Oh boy, he hates this more then grass.  Sand does make him cry.  This made our trip to the beach very interesting.  He loves the water so that part was great but he freaked out if any sand touched his skin.  He was fine as long as he could sit in his stroller on play on the blanket but what a scene if he got sand on his hands!

Shoes - Addis doesn't care much for shoes.  He kicks them off.  Can't say that I blame him.  I prefer to be barefoot too.

Oiling - Addis doesn't much care to be oiled up at night.  We need to put oil on his skin and in his hair to keep them from drying out.  He always fusses when Daddy tries to oil him up, but ususally he's ok when Mommy does it.

Accomplishments:

Stairs - Addis just learned to climb stairs.  He climbed up 1 step a few weeks ago but then gave up.  He just tried it again and made it halfway up the stairs before I realized what he was doing.  Time for baby proofing!

Talking - Addis has a few words.  Mama, Dada, Hi, Baba (bottle), Bye.  He babbles non-stop.  He really has a lot he wants to say but unfortunately so far, we don't understand what he's trying to say.  I think he's close to saying dog as well.

Teething - Addis has his 2 bottom teeth, front and centre.  It looks like another one is starting to come in on the top.  He doesn't much fuss with teething.  At least he didn't for the first two.  I guess we'll see how the rest go.

Walking - Soooo close.  He walks really well when he is holding your hands.  You should see him motor around the coffee table.  He's like lighting!  He does walk fairly well if he's only holding one hand.  So far he's only taken 1 step on his own.

Standing - He is starting to stand on his own a little more.  It's only a few seconds but the time is getting longer and he's definitely getting steadier on his feet.

Kissing - Addis now gives big sloppy open mouth kisses.  These are the best kisses in the world.  He ususally saves his kisses for first thing in the morning or just before bedtime.  During the day he's too busy for cuddles and kisses.  The other day I was looking the other way and didn't realize he wanted to give mommy a kiss so he grabbed my ears and turned my head and planted one right on me.  It sure does make my heart melt to get one of these kisses.

Personality Quirks:

Sense of Humour - He has a very swarped sense of humour.  He laughs this deep belly laugh when people fall down, slip, drop something, etc.  He also laughs when he sees other kids crying.  Addis can also be very funny.  He does things that make Brian and I laugh all the time.

Sounds - Addis makes some really great sounds.  Sometimes when he gets really excited he sounds like a veloceraptor.  He also makes wookie sounds when he is excited.  If he's curious about something he makes a "hoo hoo" sound like an owl.  When he sees his bottle he laughs like Beavis and Butthead.

Facial Expressions - Addis makes a face to go along with the owl sound.  It's like he's surprised.  One of our update photos while we were waiting for the visa had him making this face and at that time I wondered what he was thinking.  Now I have a good idea about what was happening.  He was probably curious about the camera.  When he is trying to make you laugh he makes fish faces.  When Addis is so happy he makes this one face and although it's hard to describe it's probably one of my favourites.  It's like the joy is just bursting out of him.  He scrunches up his face and all you can see are his gums.  Picture a little old man with no teeth laughing hysterically.  Addis is a big flirt so when he sees a lady that's to his liking, he gives her a sideways look and gives her a knowing wink and nod.  It's like he's saying "hey baby, you know I'm cute, how you doing?".  He just cracks me up with all his facial expressions.

I have really enjoyed getting to know this wonderful little boy over the past few months.  I can't wait to learn more about him and watch him develop.

Ewedehalo Addis.

Confession Friday

I confess that I am STILL working on the post about Addis.  Everytime I think I've finished it, I think of something else I want to add.  I think I'm just going to go ahead and post it soon and maybe in a few weeks post another one.

I confess that I ate out twice today.

I confess that at lunch I was sitting out on the patio with Addis waiting for my friend Em to show up and all of a sudden I see Ratatouille scurrying around the chairs and tables.  Yuck!!!  That's one thing you never want to see, is a big fat mouse running around where food is being served.  Let's just say, I'm glad we were outside and I spent the rest of the lunch trying to convince myself Ratatouille and his buddies couldn't make it in to the kitchen.

I confess that at dinner tonight some incredibly rude man let the door slam in my face even though he could see my husband was holding the door open for him and his wife.  Needless to say Brian was not impressed to see this especially since I was carrying Addis and let the man know that his rudeness was not appreciated.

I confess that we have decided to let Addis cry it out most of the times he wakes up at night.  It's really hard to listen to him crying and not go sooth him, but we really needed a change in the sleep department in this house.  Although I'm finding it hard, I do like the results we are seeing so far.  I feel more rested and therefore have more patience and Addis doesn't seem affected by us not coming in.  In fact, if anything, he seems to be in a better mood.  I think that by us not coming in, he settles back down quicker and has less disruption to his sleep.

I confess that we got some packing done this week and we will get some more done tomorrow.

I confess that I am finally going to see Harry Potter on Sunday.  My friend Em is watching Addis for us and I'm not sure which I'm more excited about.  The adult time, the movie or the popcorn.  I'll let you know which next week.

I confess that I bought a few books this week that aren't my usual literary preference.  I confessed in a previous Friday that I wanted to start reading more "intelligent" books besides just trashy romance novels and good beach reads.  So in a effort to branch out out a little more I got The Help and Cutting for Stone.  I also have Secret Daughter that I want to read.  I think once I am done these I am going to get The Book of Negroes. 

I confess that we found flea on Oz this week.  I don't mean fleas as in plural, I mean flea as in singular.  One flea.  I keep checking for more but I can't find any.  Not that I am complaining but I find this very strange.  This is exactly what happened two years ago with Oz.  We found flea.  Just the one.  It's like he sees this little guy and says "hey, hop on little buddy and we'll be friends".  Once we get rid of flea no more show up.  WEIRD!

I confess that if I hear that stupid song on the Lightning McQueen car that Addis has again, I will take out the batteries and super glue the compartment shut so no new batteries can ever be put in there again. 

I confess that today I received a gift from one of the ladies who works with the catering staff at work.  I was so very touched my her kindness.  It amazes me how many people care about Addis and have taken an interest in out story and journey.

I confess that I saw a book today called Go The F**K To Sleep and it cracked me up.  It was written by a man who had trouble getting his child to sleep when she was little.  It's written in rhymes and illustrated like a children's book but it's definitely for adults.  Especially those who understand the challenges of getting your kids to sleep and keeping them that way.

Confession Friday

I confess that I have a couple mosquito bites that I got today while visiting Brian's parents and they are driving me bananas!  Especially the one that's at my hairline.  Why do those darn things always bite me in the face???

I confess that the bites make me look like I have pimples

I confess that today we bought a Blu-ray player.  We had to do this because Brian let Addis play with our DVD remote and now it doesn't work.  The only thing it's good for is to use it as a rattle.  Now, I guess to be fair, we probably could have still used our DVD player but we would have had to use the buttons on the unit so we didn't have to get it just for the reason our remote is broken.  However, the DVD player is 9 years old.  It was a gift from my brother when we got married and it doesn't always work.  Sometimes it freezes for a few seconds and then jumps to the part it should be at.   

I confess that I've had to do a lot of the parenting myself this week.  Brian has done 3 side jobs this week.  It's great money but it does leave both Brian and I tired as we are doing more then normal.

I confess that I have been keeping up with our monthly update.  I take pictures of Addis and his height and weight on the last Friday of each month and put that info in my brag book.

I confess that we still have done much packing.  What little packing we have done seems to be all the things I have needed recently so I just don't want to pack anymore.

I confess I have been working on a post about Addis for a few days now.  I wanted to share some of the things that make Addis who he is.  Unfortunately there just hasn't been much time for blogging the past few days.

I confess that come hell or high water, my dogs are getting a bath this weekend.  I just can't take smelly dog smell anymore.

I confess that we have no plans this long weekend.  I am so glad that there's nothing going on.  I plan to take some time for myself and get some sun and spend time in my favourite staycation spot, Puerto Backyardo.

I confess that I spent some money on myself this week.  I bought some pj's.  All my summer pj's are looking sad and worn out or don't fit (at least they are too big) so I decided it was time to treat myself.  Only problem is now I can't get the cotton robe I saw off my mind.  I might have to go back and pick it up.  It was $9.99 from La Vie En Rose.  They are having a great sale right now.

I confess I love a great sale.  Ok, let's keep it real, I just love to shop.  In my defense, I'm really good at it.  I can smell a bargain a mile away. 

I confess Brian just came in and told me our moron of a neighbour is teaching his son to mow the lawn.  The problem with this is his son is maybe 6 years old.  He can't even see over the handle.  So of course I have to get up and see this for myself because I am a nosy neighbour.  I'm sure it's like trying to get a monkey to teach another monkey brain surgery.  Idiot!  I'm all for teaching children to clean up after themselves and to help with chores around the house, but come on, can we at least teach them age appropriate chores?!

Confession Friday

I confess that the past two weeks have been much better.  KNOCK ON WOOD!!  I said last weekend that we had a much better week and Monday was a difficult day.  I should know better then to say things like that without knocking on wood or something.  That sort of thing use to happen with the dogs all the time when they were puppies.  I would comment on how good they had been and the very next day come home to find a chewed shoe or a whole in the wall.  However, I think we (read me) are starting to find our groove.

I confess that I LOVE romantic comedies.  I could watch the same Rom Com a million times.  I own a decent number of them on DVD.  I PVR them when they are TV.  I rent them as soon as they are on DVD.  Brian will watch them with me but he draws the line at going to the theatre to see them.

I confess that I am seriously considering another tattoo.  However, since I'm a huge wuss, this could be a problem.  When I got my first tattoo I had to get a numby patch.  I put a topical numbing cream on my foot so I wouldn't feel the pain.  I will definitely need to do the patch trick again but you really aren't supposed to according to the tattoo artists.  Why am I such a wimp?

I confess that our first time leaving Addis was hard for me.  I had a little anxiety about it.  Addis ended up spending the night at my parents place last Friday.  Obviously I trust my parents so my anxiety didn't stem from being worried he'd be cared for.  Not sure why I felt anxious, but I did.  When we picked him up he seemed a little annoyed with Brian & I for leaving him.  It took him a while to warm up to us.  Not sure if this was a setback in attachment or just a child his displeasure at ihs parents not being 100% available.  We may wait a little while before we have another sleepover.

I confess that I am watching Big Brother this summer.  I realize watching this show may make me seem lame but at the end of the day I just want don't feel like watching something that requires me to think.

I confess that although I love to read I also don't read serious books.  I am an avid reader of Nora Roberts.  However, I have vowed to try reading some more intelectual books.  I will keep you updated on how successful I am with this new reading venture.

I confess that lately there haven't been many comments on my blog and I'm starting to wonder if anyone is reading.  Anyone out there????

I confess that today I have straight hair.  I had a hair appointment and my stylist straightened my hair.  I get mixed reviews when I have straight hair.  One of my friends wonders why I'd ever straighten my hair when I could leave it curly.  She is very envious of the curls.  Other people really like it.  In fact I had one person tell me, and I quote "your hotness factor just went waaaaay up".  As for me, I just think it's nice to change my look every once in a while.

I confess that Addis and I went to the beach this week.  We had a great day.  I love the beach.  He loves the water.  Addis didn't really care much for the sand.  He hates the sand more then he hates grass.  He cried as soon as any sand got on him.  However, he laughed and smiled non stop whenever he was in the water.  I think we will have to make a few more trips to the beach this summer but next time we will include daddy.

I confess that I got a parkign ticket at the beach.  I am still not impressed!  I parked on the main street in Grand Bend because I didn't want to pay $15 to park at the beach parking lot.  Well, joke's on me cause now I have a $25 parking ticket because sometime over the winter it seems the town implemented a 2hour parking limit on main street.  In my defence the signs were not clear.  They placed the signs close to the buildings instead of closer to the road.  For people who have been to Grand Bend and parked on the road in the past but live out of town, we wouldn't necessarily know about the new parking laws.  Should have just paid the stupid $15 in the first place. 

 I confess that Brian will be working a lot of extra hours in the next few weeks because he's doing side work.  While the extra money will certainly be good, I'm also a bit worried about doing this all on my own.  My confidence has been pretty shaken.

I confess that I have some really weird food faves.  One of my guilty pleasures is chunks of mozzarella cheese dipped in marinara sauce.  I know, I know, that's totally gross but it's soooo good.  I like my orange juice watered down.  I make it about 50% juice and 50% water.  I like brown beans on toast.  When I eat potato chips I eat the curly ones first.  I like cereal but only if it's dry.  If I have to eat it with milk, I only pour in a bit of cereal at a time, eat that up and then pour in some more.  I HATE soggy cereal.  I dip my Doritos in cream cheese.  These are just a few of my strange eating habits/likes/patterns.  I'm a total freak!

I confess that I'm dying to see the Harry Potter movie.  I love Harry Potter!!!!  Brian, my mom, my sister and I have a tradition of seeing the movies together.  My sister has been really sick lately so until she feels better she won't/can't go see it.  So Heather..... get well soon!!!  We have to go see Harry!!!  Obviously, I want you to get well so that you are feeling better, but can you do it quickly, it's time for Pottermania.  Seriously though, get well soon sis.  I love you.  Praying you are healthy really soon.

I confess that we take possesion of our house in 3 weeks and we have barely packed.  What little packing we have done has not been a "we" sort of effort.  Brian has done it all.  I just can't find the "get up and go" to do any packing.  I need to find it soon because we have a lot to pack and it won't do it all by itself.

I confess that I will miss this house.  Could that be why I haven't wanted to pack??

Confession Friday

I confess that life is very busy.  I am finding it hard to post blogs, check emails, creep facebook, etc. 

I confess that we had a great time camping.  Addis loved it!  He enjoys being outside and around people.  We took him swimming in Lake Erie.  The water was pretty shallow so we could go out fairly far and Addis could still stand.  The last time we went swimming the waves lulled him to sleep.  He actually slept through the night on our first night there.

I confess that knowing Addis slept through the night on our first night of ccamping has had me seriously considering setting up our tent trailer in the driveway and sleeping outside with him.  Don't laugh or judge.  I'm really getting to the point where I'd try anything to have him sleep through the night.  I'm sooooo tired.

I confess that this weekend is very busy.  Addis has a doctor''s appointment, then I have my company picnic and then a wedding.  And that's just today!  We also have a few birthday parties we've been invited to and unfortunately we are going to have miss a few of them.

I confess that tonight's wedding is the first night out Brian and I will have alone since we came home.  I'm looking forward to it.  Addis is actually spending the night at my parents place so I will get to sleep through the night AND sleep in!!!  Woo Hoo!!

I confess I'm also looking forward to seeing my friend marry a man that she was destined to be with.  They dated when they were younger and obviously just couldn't stay apart.  They make such a nice couple.

I confess that I FINALLY did some grocery shopping.  We haven't done groceries since we came home from Ethiopia.  We'd picked up odds & ends but had not done a big shop.  Well, I did it.  All by my self!  It may seem like a stupid thing to be proud of myself for but I actually hate grocery shopping.  Even when it's just Brian and I and we can get it done quickly it just feels like a pain.  I was pretty nervous about trying to shop solo.  Especially because I wasn't exactly solo.  I would be shopping with Addis.  Well I am pleased to say the shopping went well.  We went to several stores because now I have to shop according to the sales and Addis was well behaved.  It wasn't until we were at the last store in the checkout that he started to get cranky.  All in all, I'd say it was a success.

I confess I just heard Brian say to Addis "Buddy, are you going to hold your bottle.  I'm not your maid".  I don't think I've laughed that hard in a long time.  Poor Brian, he actually believes that he's not at Addy's beck and call.

I confess that I really don't understand why women wear white or light coloured skirts/pants and put on black underwear.  Do they think that we can't see them?  Do they want us to see the black panties?  I don't get it.  It looks trashy.  Even worse, I wonder where these women's friends are.  I would hope if I made such a grave fashion mistake that my friends would point it out.  You know, something along the lines of "Uh hunny, I can see your panties, and it's not a good look for you".

I confess that I have lost my brag book with all the photos I have printed of Addis.  I have no idea where it went.  I think I had it last week and now suddenly it's missing.  I'm not very happy about it.  I'm about to toss the house looking for it.  Brian won't be too impressed with the mess I leave behind.

I confess that I spent a little money shopping yesterday.  I bought a few new items for my summer wardrobe.  Don't tell Brian!  I finally got an EI cheque to I indulged a little of the money on myself.

I confess that I have been having a tough time with some of the adjustments of mommyhood. 

I confess this week has gotten better.  We discovered the use of the playpen for short periods of time so mommy can have a break or get things done.

I confess we have been getting out more often and that is helping improve my frame of mind.

I confess I am praying for good weather Wednesday because Addis and I are going to the beach.  I can't wait to get my beach on!  I probably have no business wearing a bathing suit these days but who cares, I probably won't see anyone I know.

I confess that I admit defeat in the battle of Ange vs Ketchup chips.  I am shamed to say that I have eaten 3 bags in the past week.  I'm soooo the fat kid!

2 Years

I woke up this morning and went about my day.  The day started early.  Addis woke up at 5:20am.  It took about an hour to get him back to sleep but then he slept for another two hours.  We woke up again at 8:45am.  We got up, said good morning to the doggies, I made myself a tea and fed him his pureed bananas.  I took a shower and started getting ready to go out for brunch with my dad.  It was like any other day.  It wasn't until I checked out a yahoo board that I am part of that I was reminded what today actually is.  How could I forget?  I guess it wasn't that I forgot, so much as lost track of my days.  As soon as I realized that today is the two year anniversary of the bankruptcy all those feelings came flooding back.  It amazes me that even after all this time it still can cut deeply. 

July 13, 2009.  That day will forever mean something to me.  Two years ago the adoption agency we were using went bankrupt.  Not only did it go bankrupt but there were allegations of fraud.  There were families left not knowing what would happen to the children that were legally theirs, families who lost referrals of children whose faces they had grown to love and families like Brian & I who had no idea if we would ever be parents.  Two years ago my whole world came crashing down on me. I felt like I had lost another baby. I felt like my dreams of a family would never come true. I couldn't stop crying. I was sad, angry and felt so utterly hopeless. I was lost. I went to work and my co-workers and friends would talk to me and I could see their mouths moving but nothing they said registered. I was like a zombie. I had to take some time off work because the stress and anxiety was just too much.


I wanted to do something but it seemed hopeless.  How could I ever fix this?  I couldn't do anything, but WE, well WE could make all the difference.  It took a group of 450 families to make a change.  I had a small part in doing the most rewarding thing I've ever been part of.  Because families, businesses, politicians, media and so many others stood up and said "this is wrong and this needs to be fixed" we were able to bring the agency out of bankruptcy and move towards the completion of our families.  Some families walked away.  Some couldn't afford the money to pay the restructuring fees, some just couldn't take the chance of more disappointment and some just had enough.  I feel for each of those families.  Brian & I took a chance.  We stayed with the new agency and for us the gamble paid off. 

Today I am in a much different place.  Today I was able to get up with my son and play with him and not have a dark cloud hanging over my head.  For a very long time I wondered if we would ever see our family complete.  Even after the first referral December 16, 2009 I was afraid to believe we would have a child.  Even after we were matched to the sweetest boy I had ever seen, I doubted.  I don't think I fully trusted that this little boy was mine, was part of our family forever until we were back in Canada with him safely in our home. 

The bankruptcy left some very deep scars.  I trust less.  I smile less.  However, slowly those scars are fading.  I smiled a lot today.  I got to hold Addis and play with him and watch him explore the new world around him and listen to him laugh. 

However, today there were also tears.  It's hard not to cry when I remember that day.  I pray each day that all the families can complete their adoptions and bering children into their lives.  I even hope that maybe they too will one day be able to "forget".

I hope that anyone reading this doesn't think that I am being flippant or callous and could "forget" such an important day.  I know that I will never forget what happened.  It is part of our family history.  However, I think not having the bankruptcy on my mind consumming my every thought, which it use to do, is a sign that I have healed, if only just a little.

I am one of the lucky families who has brought a child home under the new agency.  I will continue to hope, pray and fight until each family is complete.

Yes, WE can!